Match Report: Wednesday 15th December

Carbs' Team 4

Ed's Team 9ish

Carbs' Team: Carbs, Roy, Tom H, Shaun, Tuvvy, Will, Dave C, Andy T, Robin, Sam
Ed's Team: Ed, Matt, Phil, Mike, Jason, Fletch, Tom W, Kev, Sam

After missing two weeks due to snow the Energise pitch was finally cleared and 17 of St Paul's finest and Matt turned up and the lack of football had left most of us looking like the crew of Das Boot. Tom H in particular had the look of a man who'd been locked in a cupboard for a week and been forced to watch the XFactor knowing all along that on the other channel England's batsman were dishing it out to the Aussies.

Matt picked the teams and Carbs' Team kicked off, shooting towards the school end. Phil, who has been away longer than a Chillean miner, immediately slotted into the centre-back player maker role that Brett had made his own (I assume Brett was missing as he was off foiling the penguin's latest scheme) and, such was his command of that side of the pitch, it freed up the likes of Kev and Tom W to support Jason, Fletch and Ed in attack. It wasn't long before Tom H was called into action in goal, alternating between sublime goalkeeping that would make Neville Southall proud and a kinda Anne Widdecome style prancing around the 6-yard area. It did the trick though and Ed's team couldn't find the break through despite some nice passing moves. Ed was unlucky with a couple of snap shots. Roy and Dave were defending brilliantly and Roy in particular looked like he meant business.

Then after defending another attack from Ed's Team, Carbs team broke quickly and the ball found its way to Carbs who showed his usual excellent control (the ball sticks to his feet almost like it's a part of him, it reminds me of Terminator 2, but with builders) and he looked odds-on to score but his curling shot struck a combination of post and bar and the rebound was cleared by the alert Kev Church. A warning to Ed's team.

Fletch then broke the deadlock with a nice finish into the bottom corner following another good move involving Mike and Ed. A few moments later Carbs' team were almost level when Matt gave the ball away in defence and Robin got through on goal, but his shot was well saved by Phil in goal. Ed then made it 2-0 with a quality flick with his heel after a good kick-in from Mike. It was nice to see that both teams were trying to play the ball on the deck and some of the passing displayed by the likes of Phil, Mike, Ed, Shaun, Carbs and Tom H was outstanding. Another good ball from Mike, this time from a corner found Matt at the back post, but the rotund Evertonian didn't get enough power into his header and Tuvvy easily plucked it from the air.

Will, Robin and Carbs were linking up really well and Dave was tackling well in midfield which gave Will the freedom to run with the ball. He showed some great skill to beat Matt, completely sending him the wrong way, but his shot drifted just wide of the post. By this point Sam had arrived and joined Carbs team, which put them 2 players up, but 2 goals down. However, Sam slotted into defence alongside Roy and Tom and Carbs team slowly started to dominate the game. Carbs scored a beauty after bringing the ball down, turning, beating a defender and smashing the ball past the keeper.

It was developing into a really good game and a hard fought contest. Mike, Fletch and Jason were doing well on the left and Mike was defending excellently. For Carbs team, Robin and Andy looked dangerous on their left and Roy was playing some fantastic long balls to the ever present goal-threat in the form of Carbs. Kev even got in on the act, by flicking a clearance over Will's head and turning to start an attack - was this Acomb or Brazil?

Robin set up Dave with a clever run to the byline and a nice ball into the area where Dave was waiting to smash home from 2 yards after a nice run to find space. Then Will scored one of his specials, a great finish from distance and a contender for Goal Of The Game. Will then looked odds-on to grab a second when the ball fell to him 6 yards out. With Kev struggling to get back in goal it looked certain to be 4-2, but somehow Will contrived to scuff his shot and in the end Kev made a rountine save. Not long after that, another goal did come (sorry, can't remember the scorer and it was 4-2). With Ed's team, 2 players and 2 goals down, Sam swapped teams to make it 9-a-side

Once again Sam proved to be the pivotal player and the game once again swung in the favour of Ed's team. Phil was now playing a more attacking role, slotting in behind the strikers and playing some lovely football, even the ever dependable defensive presence of Tom H struggled to keep Phil in check. A good corner from Ed was poked into the net by Kev, Phil grabbed a hat-trick (an event that, like him buying a round, happens only once in a lifetime) and even the Billy Bunter like Matt got on the scoresheet after beating both Will and Roy and slotting the ball past Tuvvy with the outside of his boot. Roy was unlucky when a brilliant clearance off the line after a shot by Matt was smashed straight back past him into the net by Kev. Ed had a great snapshot that drifted just wide, but his team were on top and the score was about 9-4.

The chances didn't stop though, only some good keeping by Jason, Kev and Sam stopped Carbs team getting more goals. One clearance by Sam was awesome, realising he'd strayed out of his area he leapt like the proverbial salmon and headed the ball away. Carbs thought he'd score but Kev pulled off one of his trademark quality saves and Andy blasted over on the back post when he really should have hit the target. At the other end, Phil was unlucky to head over a great corner from Ed and Fletch saw a missile of a shot go just wide.

Towny and Will then went for the same ball and ended up colliding in a moment reminiscent of the keystone cops and Kev nearly castrated Tuvvy with a high boot. It only happens at St Paul's footy!

There was just enough time for Carbs team to try for a consolation goal from a corner, but once again, Ed's team defended well and "time" was called. A great game after a frustrating break. Let's hope there's more of the same next week.

Goal Of The Week: Will's superb finish, he has a habit of scoring spectacular goals and this was up there with his best.

Player Of The Week: Loads of good performances this week. Carbs returned and proved that he still oozes class. Kev played as well as I ever seen him play and got 2 great goals, Will was excellent, Ed is now consistently one of the best players on the pitch. Sam played out of his skin, for both teams and his defending was brilliant. Roy defended heroically for Carbs' team. He seemed to be everywhere, putting in challenges and blocking shots. Also, as mentioned above, some of his passing was awesome. So, POTW so nearly went to Roy, but that would be ignoring the man in the SUFC kit. Phil started the game by bossing Carbs' team from his own half, they just could not get passed him. Everytime the ball came into his half he mopped it up, beat a player or two and then laid the ball off for a team mate. Quality. After a brief stint in goal which included a great save, he played the rest of the game up front and Tom and Roy just could not deal with him. Getting a fully deserved hat-trick was only half the story, Phil was involved in most of his teams goals and also ensured that his team kept their shape. Some people liken him to "Indiana Jones meets Mr Bronson in a football kit", some say he taught Carol Vorderman all she knows and others still say he's the lovechild of Jimmy Cranky and Lembut Opik, all I know is that is the best performance in that kit that you're going to see anywhere all season. Well done Phil.