Match Report: Wednesday 26th May

Kev's Team 12

Will's Team 6

Kev's Team: Kev, Matt, Paul, Buncey, Sam, Jason Norwich, Dave, Steve J

Will's Team: Will, Jason F, Roy, Rich C, Simon J, Kendall, Gavin, Andy T

Another fine evening for a game of footy (although it ended in a downpour) and with Simon B, Tuvvy, Brett, Phil, Steve G and Tom all missing it had the feel of an England friendly, although I hoped we'd show a bit more passion than that. Megan Fox failed to turn up which was a bit of a disappointment (I heard rumours she was off somewhere with Simon B). Was good to see Brett (who looks unnervingly like Michael Keaton in Batman) who was heading to the gym and Phil (who looks like Indiana Jones) who had come to count players and do some set theory. Hopefully they'll both be back soon - Will's team could have done with them in defence in this game! It may be a little longer before Kerron is back on the wing though. Buncey waddled in, still full from his tea and without his lucky boro top – surely not a good sign?

We kicked off with Jason F and Matt in goal and after only a few seconds Dave had broken free and put the ball in the back of the net – a good start! Then good work from Kendall and Rich C led to Will finding space after an expertly timed run and he calmly slotted past Matt to make the score 1-1, a nice finish but awful ball watching from Kev’s team. Kev’s team were passing the ball around beautifully with Paul, Steve J and Buncey getting heavily involved and it wasn’t long before they were back in front. However, shortly afterwards, Will ran past a couple of players and hit the ball low and hard, Matt went down slower than the Bismarck and the ball squeezed under him and hit the back of the net 2-2. Rubbish dive and time for new keepers. Dave took a brilliant corner which found Matt at the back post with a free header, but he headed the ball into the ground and it bounced over the bar – a sitter - missed! Buncey was finding space but some of his shooting was, let’s say, “wayward” making Geoff Thomas look as accurate as Phil “The Power” Taylor. Andy was showing his usual great tackling, legs spraying around like an untethered hosepipe, but getting the job done. Gavin was enjoying space on the left and with Rich C on the right and Jason F and Will charging through the middle, Sam and Kev were kept very busy in defence. Rich C cut inside Matt (who has the turning circle of a cargo ship) and was unlucky to see his shot curl wide. Then a great run from Buncey saw him beat about three players before being forced wide, but a sumptuous dinked cross to the back post found Dave but he couldn’t force the ball home.

The game ebbed and flowed with both teams playing an attacking game and it was soon 4-4 with Gavin scoring an absolute peach of a volley and Buncey getting on the score sheet after snaffling a loose ball and slotting home from close range. Jason F made a good save from Dave and Sam also had a good spell in goal. Then Jason Norwich and Simon J turned up and the game completely changed. Jason N joined Kev’s team and they didn’t look back. Will’s team’s defence went AWOL and it was all-you-can-eat time at this particular buffet. Then something rarer than Buncey volunteering to go in goal - a goal from Matt! What a cracker it was too. He picked the ball up on the right and, from about twenty yards hit an arrow like shot that went in off the post and left the keeper rooted to the spot. If that goal had been a woman it would have been Natalie Portman – stunning! That made it 7-5 but I totally lost track of the rest of the goals, it just got silly. There was a cracker from Kev Church though, a goal he deserved after a great game. Paul was unlucky not to score after a great run and his shot hit the post. It wasn’t all one way though, the ball fell to Will and he tried to marmalise it into next year! Matt, in goal, was foolish enough to save it and his hand was bent back by about 358 degrees - he let out a sound akin to Alan Carr being lowered feet first into a blender.

Then it started to rain and the enthusiasm drained away like the hopes of every England fan during a penalty shootout and we ended the game. So, about 12-6 in the end, it was good for 40 minutes and then it was like silly season in the Wacky Warehouse.

Goal Of The Week: Gavin and Matt’s goals were pretty good but Roy wins GOTW through sheer persistence. A poor long ball out of defence from Matt was headed firmly back up-field by Kendall. Sam seemed to have it covered and, although Roy was in close attendance there didn’t seem to be too much danger and he just nodded the ball back to Kev in goal. Kev ran out of goal, did his best “Peter Crouch Meets Bambi On Ice As Performed By Laurel And Hardy” impression and slipped over, Roy sped past like a racing snake and slotted the ball home. Kev looked like a man who had just discovered John Terry in his girlfriend’s wardrobe. Great poacher’s goal Roy.

Player Of The Week: Kev Church and Paul stood out on Kev’s team and Will and Andy T were first class for Will’s team. POTW this week goes to Sir Richard Of Bunceshire – what a game! I don’t know what he had for his tea but it did the trick (and maybe he should think about binning that boro shirt). Not only did he grab a hat-trick, but he ran the show for Kev’s team for the whole game, he worked so hard his face ended up redder than a Marxist Brian Clough and, it got so red, it started to clash with his hair. Hard work and skill, that’s Buncey, he went on many many of his trademark mazy runs and linked brilliantly with Steve J, Paul and Dave. The cross to Dave (mentioned earlier) was inch perfect and, if there was such an award, would win “Cross Of The Season” hands down, sadly there is no such award so, Buncey, there’s no need to write an acceptance speech. I hate trying to defend against Buncey because he is impossible to tackle. Like a cross between Gazza, John Barnes, Ray Parlour and Spuggy from Byker Grove Buncey oozes class, skill and determination. If he’s free on the 5^th June, surely he’s pinched the right wing spot from Jonny? Great game Buncey!

Tuvvy Watch: Tuvvy was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he knew it was going to rain.

Match Report: Wednesday 19th May

Roy's Team 6
Dave's Team 3

Roy's team: Roy, Matt, Kev, Simon J, Andy T, Paul, Gavin, Steve G, Buncey
Dave's Team: Dave, Simon B, Jason Norwich, Jason F, Will, Steve J, Rich C, Sam, Tuvvy

A glorious evening for a game of footy and after Matt's terrible maths last week, Phil McBride turned up just to count the teams and make sure they were even this time round. I thought he might stay to watch, but I think he's missing the game so much it would have been like watching the school bully kiss your girlfriend so, job done, he went home to put his feet up, crack open a beer and tinker with Pythagoras theorem.

Roy's team started at a blistering pace with Buncey, Gavin, Steve G, Paul and Steve J running riot and they were soon four up with goals from Roy (deflected in off his backside after chasing down a clearance) and I think Gavin and Steve J. Even Kev Church was displaying Messi-like skill, beating two players on the wing and crossing the ball in. Buncey showed his normal composed skill and got himself some space after a nice run, but his shot drifted wide. Things needed changing, so Simon B picked Steve J to swap sides and then Jason Norwich and Simon J turned up with Jason joining Dave's team and Simon J Roy's. This changed the complexion of the game and suddenly Roy's team found themselves hemmed back and defending by the skin of their teeth. A number of long balls to Simon B were headed clear by Matt and Kev and Simon B commented that he "doesn't do headers" - a comment that turned out to be a little lie (more on that later). Also, alarmingly he told me that he had Rory Fallon at home. Knowing Simon B to be a somewhat fanatical Argyle fan, I thought he'd finally gone bonkers and actually kidnapped New Zealand's World Cup hero, perhaps as punishment for only getting a meagre 5 goals in Argyle's unsuccessful bid to avoid the drop. Thankfully, it turned out he (along with Phil McBride and Steve Sav) is just collecting football stickers, which is nice, after all a lad needs a hobby.

Steve J and Will were linking up brilliantly and a long range pile-driver from Will was deflected out for a corner by Matt who was foolish enough to get his head in the way - ouch! Tuvvy was battling away upfront like normal and in one attack, turned and released an exquisite volley with the outside of his boot - it dipped and curved but it went just wide and the keeper had looked beaten too - unlucky. Dave's team had a number of corners and kick-ins (at one point there were about five in a row) but Roy's defence held firm, and also had a bit of luck with one clearance from Kev hitting Matt on the knee and going out for a corner, just inches wide of the post. Kev also made a good save down at his near post and Simon B broke on the right and hit a shot wide when he will have been disappointed not to have hit the target. Just when the danger seemed to have past, Steve J got the ball on the right and let fly with a perfect volley which curled and dipped into the top corner. Awesome! That made the score 4-1 and, once again, a possible clean sheet was lost.

Will, in goal, booted the ball the full length of the pitch to Simon B on the left wing, he displayed outstanding control to bring the ball down and start and attack and Kev Church had to be alert to make the save. A few moments later Will tried the same, but this time his kick was a bit wayward, however, Simon B pulled off a fantastic header to keep the ball in and find one of his team mates - so he does head the ball when required! Later on, he even kept one in with his backside - if you can imagine a hot air balloon cushioning a golf ball, you'll be somewhere near. Simon B had been playing well but, like Tuvvy, hadn't really had a clear site of goal. One attack led to a looping shot (I think from Tuvvy or Tom) that beat the keeper but Buncey was on the line to acrobatically hook the ball away - great defending again from Roy's team.

Roy's team were breaking out occasionally and managing a few decent attacks. Simon J in particular seemed to be everywhere and with Andy T expertly breaking up many of Dave's team's attacks Roy's team were getting back in the game. Buncey and Simon J displayed some awesome passing and moving and the close control was excellent. However, Sam, Dave, Tom and Jason Norwich were in no mood to let anything by them and with Roy, Steve G, Matt and Kev kept busy with Simon B, Will, Steve J, Rich C and Jason F there wasn't much support from midfield. One great corner from Buncey saw Gavin volley against the bar - so close! The pressure paid off though and Simon J bagged another goal to make the score 6-1 and Roy's team were surely home and dry. Steve Gagg put a powerful shot over the bar - and over the fence and not to be outdone Tom blasted one onto the school roof. Paul, who had been having a solid game was doing well linking defence and attack and had a great effort tipped wide by Tuvvy in goal. It was good to see Paul back and he had a great game, some of his passing was excellent.

Will had a rasping volley from outside the box that flew past Kev's head and seemed destined for the top corner. Matt, in goal, saw it late, but in a scene resembling a promotional video for "Fat Fighters", he managed to stick out a chubby arm and get his sausage-like fingers to the ball to deflect it wide. If a butterfly flapping it's wings can cause an earthquake I dread to think what happened somewhere when Matt landed after that dive! Soon after, Matt saved from Steve J after Steve had got clear on the left and cut inside to shoot, then he saved again from Steve J when he tried his luck from outside the box, however, the ball fell to Dave who made no mistake with the rebound and he pulled one back to make it 6-2. Some great crosses were coming in from Tom, Jason Norwich and Steve J but they just wouldn't fall nicely for Simon B or Jason F. Then Jason F robbed Matt in defence and nearly got a shot away, fortunately for Matt he recovered in time to get a block in. Then a brilliant cross found Sam at the back post but he couldn't quite connect and he deflected the ball away from the waiting Simon B.

Steve J went on one of his trademark runs and chipped the ball over Matt in goal - a perfect cross to the back post were Simon B was waiting to head in off the post (again, proof he will head the ball when he fancies it). Simon just looked at Matt and said "Goal Of The Week". It turned out to be the last touch of the game as "Time!" was called and the match ended 6-3 to Roy's team who will be grateful they raced into a four goal lead (after swapping teams around the final score would have been 3-2 to Dave's team and Simon B would be impossible if he'd got the winner with the last touch of the match!).

Goal Of The Week: Whatever Simon says about his header (which admittedly was a nice goal) even he won't be able to argue with this week's winner. Steve J's volley from miles out. Hit with the outside of his boot (my notes say "outside of the boat" but I think that is a typo) it dipped and curled past the keeper at a time in the game where Dave's team must have been wondering if they would get on the score sheet at all. A thing of beauty, it was more Goal Of The Decade than Goal Of The Week - an exceptional finish and just goes to show what a great player Steve is.

Player Of The Week: Good games from Steve Gagg (unflappable again), Buncey (tireless running and great skill), Simon B (nice control and a nightmare for Roy's defence), Kev (brilliant game everywhere on the pitch), Will (bags of skill) and Roy (steely defending once again). However, two guys stood out more than the rest and that was Steve J and Simon J. Steve is an exceptional player and always has a good game, but after being heavily involved in getting Roy's team 4-0 up he had to swap teams and try and claw the goals back. On another day, with a bit more luck, Dave's team would have managed it as well. Great game Steve and a class goal. This week's POTW though goes to Simon J - he was everywhere. I lost count of the number of tackles and defensive interceptions he made and he also grabbed a couple of goals. I think he and Buncey relish playing together as they have a similar ability to control the ball when there seems to be no space - some of their attacks were a joy to watch. Simon always seems to be available for a pass or to be in just the right place to intercept an attack and is obviously someone who can read the game really well. Like a cross between Michael Carrick, Harry Kewell and Rio Ferdinand with a hint of the Milky Bar Kid thrown in for good measure, Simon is unplayable when he's in the mood. A great game Simon, well done.

Tuvvy Watch: Tuvvy was unfortunate not to get on the score sheet this week. That leaves him only two games in which to get five goals and Matt's pint is looking safe. If only that volley had gone in!

Match Report: Wednesday 12th May

Sam's Team 5

Tom's Team 3

Sam's Team: Sam, Simon B, Jason F, Dave C, Gavin, Andy T, Rich C, Kev, Steve J, Mr X, Tuvvy

Tom's Team: Tom, Matt, Steve G, Buncey, Jason Norwich, Shorty, Will, Simon J, Roy

It was a great evening for a kick-about, the summer is definitely starting to kick in and we had Matt, Tom and Steve G back. Phil is still out injured and I guess Kerron just didn't fancy it this time. Just realised Sam's team had an extra 2 players - no wonder Simon B had a smirk on that said he knew a secret no-one else did (i.e. how to count). With Tom back and in charge of picking the starting 11 for the game on the 5th June, everyone wanted to put in a top drawer performance.

Sam's team started on the front foot and they had an imposing forward line of Tuvvy, Gavin, Mr X with Andy, Jason F and Dave C supporting from midfield. With Tom starting between the sticks, his defence consisted of the steel-shined Roy Gibson, cool but deadly Steve Gagg and Matt and they were under a lot of pressure. Dave had a thunderous drive from just outside the area that flew inches over the bar, Tom did well to get out of the way because he would have lost a hand trying to stop that one.

Finally, the pressure paid off when a shot came in low and fast from Sam's team and was destined for the bottom corner. However, Matt had placed himself at the back post and this was his chance for glory - a chance to perform a simply out-of-this-world last ditch clearance off the line that was so good Alan Hansen would wet himself with joy. Sadly though, Matt sliced the ball into the back of his own net. Alan Hansen would have mocked him with a sardonic, monotone Scottish voice and explained about "playing percentages". Matt lay in the six yard box, head in hands like a kind of monstrous Emo-Whale.

Tuuvy added a second soon afterwards flicking the ball into the bottom corner after a low cross. It was a

really nice goal and Tuvvy is on fire at the moment with, I think, 6 in 3 games. He is relishing the

"Emile Heskey but with goals" role he has developed over the last month or so. If he can get 5 more goals

in his next 3 games, I'll buy him a beer.

Two soon became three when Gavin, who had been playing well on the right wing, scored from close range.

Then a nightmare backpass from Matt to Steve G led to an almighty scramble and the ball pinged around off all

sorts of appendages before finally being hacked clear by Roy, lucky for Matt that Roy was in no mood to be

charitable and was having a fantastic game in defence.

Tom's team were struggling to get a clear sight of goal and although Will, Buncey, Simon J and Shorty were all linking well and displaying some excellent passing, there didn't seem to be a way past the wall-like defence of Sam, Simon B and Steve J. With Andy charging up and down the left like a proper wingback and Jason F putting in some great tackles Tom's team were reduced to long range efforts and trying to cross the ball in from deep. Will had a couple of good efforts but found Kev Church in great form in goal - Kev made one brilliant double save. Then he was replaced by Sam who also had a great game in goal. Simon B was loving it and after about 30 mins was starting to sense the first ever clean sheet was in sight.

Then Mr X broke on the left a fired a shot across goal but Matt dived full stretch and tipped it out for a

corner. The corner led to a bit of a scramble and the ball eventually fell to Steve J who tried his luck

from distance but Matt dived again and punched the ball away. Two good saves and it was time to swap

keepers (quit while you're ahead).

Tom broke through and the ball dropped to him on the left side of the area "ahhh, my left foot" he shouted

but still managed to get a decent shot away that went just wide of the right hand post. Buncey had a

curling and dipping shot from distance bit it didn't trouble the keeper. Then Roy burst out of defence and hit

a great shot from about 25 yards, but it just drifted wide. Would Tom's team ever score?

Then finally, Tom's team got the break through. Matt won a header on the left and Will picked the ball up and curled a great shot in off the post. Relief all round for Tom's team who had started to worry about the embarrassment of not scoring. Simon B was gutted and decided to try his hand up front.

In a moment of pure class, Andy T kept the ball in on the left and in the same movement turned spreading

the ball to the opposite side of the pitch straight to Gavin's feet, setting him through on goal. It was a

pass that was so good Tuvvy couldn't contain himself and burst into a fit of, what can only be described

as, maniacal laughter, like an insane jack-in-the-box clown. I was convinced he was going to pull an axe

out and bury it into someone's head whilst giggling and saying "the voices, they like the red water". Erm,

anyway, it was a good pass.

A good run and a bit of trickery on the left from Tom led to him shooting low across goal and the ball nestled snugly in the bottom corner - he'd scored with his left foot!

Jason Norwich was having a blinder in defence and was winning absolutely everything in the air. Steve Gagg was also rock solid. Steve remains calm and assured when defending, preferring the intelligent pass out to feet rather than the panic stricken hoof up the pitch. He's a great passer and has a football brain the size of a small city. Disguising himself as Louis Theroux he seems to pop up and find space where there didn't appear to be any, Steve was the puppet master in Tom's team and had an outstanding game. However, despite a great back line (that included an on fire Roy) Gavin grabbed a second and Mr X got on the score sheet and it was 5-2.

Dave went on a run and Matt dived in late and was lucky that Dave skipped over the challenge or we could have had another player in hospital, an awful challenge and a yellow card. Then Kev decided to get in on the action and took a wild swing at Matt and although Matt skipped round the challenge a free kick was awarded. I say "skipped around" but it was more like watching the Pillsbury dough boy fall down a lift shaft.

Rich C who'd been having a fantastic game in the left, cleared the ball out of defence and it hit Matt (who was about 2 yards away) and bounced up into his hand - free kick. "Why was that a free kick and not the one that happened in the penalty area a few moments ago?" cried half of Sam's team. That's is life my friends, it's a savage garden out there. A savage garden.

Matt got a sight of goal from distance and tried to curl one in, but Steve J got in a great last second

bloke and it took all the pace off the ball and the keeper easily plucked the ball out of the air. Then Tuvvy had a shot that went agonisingly close and shaved paint off the post before Will pulled another back with a great finish. Steve J then went on a brilliant mazy run before being expertly hacked down by Roy about 4 millimetres outside the box. Time was called but Steve simply called back "Time for what?" and then took the free kick, but it came to nothing and the game ended 5-3.

So, a good game and although it threatened at times to be completely lopsided on closer inspection it was actually reasonably even. A bit like Lembit Opik's face then.

Goal Of The Week: I am tempted to pick Will's first, not only because of the relief that we'd got on the score sheet, but it was a great finish. However, this week Tuvvy wins goal of the week. I thought his finish was exquisite - a real striker's goal. Tuvvy is having a great season and seems to have found his preferred position. Tuvvy's a kind of cross between Brian Blessed and the Honey Monster with the eye for goal of Alan Shearer. Great finish Tuvvy.

Player Of The Week: Lots of good performances again. Both Steves were fantastic, Jason Norwich, Roy and Simon B were all excellent in defence. Both Church brothers played really well. Will, Buncey and Simon J were full of their usually trickery. Tuvvy was a great target man again and Andy was everywhere making some great tackles. Sam was exceptional again in defence, I don't think anything got past him all night and he was immensely frustrating to play against. Sam just seems to get better and better and on another day would have walked away with the POTW award. However, Dave was in scintillating form last night and didn't put a foot wrong. He made a countless number of great tackles and won almost everything in the middle of the park. He broke up loads of Tom's team's attacks and started numerous counter attacks. He also had a couple of really good efforts on goal and was unfortunate not to get on the scoresheet. How did Capello overlook Dave? Being tackled by Dave is like being enveloped in the arms of your ex for the last time, it should hurt, but just leaves you confused and feeling like something (in this case, the ball) is missing. Trying to tackle him is like trying to stop a train with your face - he's just rock hard. Like Jaws in Moonraker he's a bit of a gentle giant really, kinda like a rhino crossed with Jean Claude Van Damme and Joe Cole with the tackling ability of Nemanja Vidic and the sensitivity of Gazza. Great game Dave, surely first name on the team sheet for the 5th June now?

Match Report: Wednesday 5th May

Bibs – Roy’s team: Tuvvy, Rich B, Kev, Sam, Simon J, Roy, Jason Norwoich, Ross 9
Colours – Towney’s team: Will, Dave, Gavin, Rich C, Jason, Towney, Simon B, Dan 3

Another clear night, another great turn out including two newies in Ross and Dan who are friends of Jason Norwich, and another good game to watch.

Simon B picked sides and handed out bibs and immediately regretted it with Rich B and Simon Jowitt linking in midfield and spreading the ball around, however, no goals were forthcoming for either side. Tuvvy had started off in net for colours and was proving as good a stopper as he is a scorer and he denied Towney from close range.

At the other end, Simon J touched over the bar from close range and give it the proper, hands on head routine! Simon then turned in a stint in goal and had to be alert when Will crashed in one of his long range efforts….10 mins gone and still no goal.

The crowd were now baying for a goal, Kev tried his best with an exquisite turn and shot but over, Rich B weaved the kind of magic he hasn’t seen at Middlesboro since Downing left but Rich C was in no mood to allow the first goal in. It certainly wasn’t a boring match, and the level of skill was high. Matt Young will find it hard to keep up with it when he returns on wed – especially after all the drinking he’s allegedly been up to in Northumberland. ….

Back to the game; Dave C headed down a corner, for Simon..surely the master finisher was going to open up the scoring….over the bar. Rich B was playing really well in a drifting role, this time though Gavin stopped his shot. In desperation Roy ventured forward and through the nose bleed hit a shot. Over. 20 minutes gone…STILL 0-0!

Finally, Dan, newly arrived produced the quality to break Bibs’ defence, and laid it off to Will 0-1. The crowd went wild with relief – and with the confidence of the goal, colours went in search of a second. A great move saw Gavin and Will link but Simon B hit it wide. Then the sucker punch, and in my notes it reads 5 -> 3 -> 2 -> 1 (1-1) (own goal). In reality this means Simon J, Kev C and Rich B all linked in a great move starting in defence and Tuvvy equalised….can’t remember the own goal bit – was it Simon B?!! Answers on a postcard please to usual address.

At this point the lack of Brett, Phil, Matt and both Steves showed as neither team had any defenders!!! It was great to watch both sides playing effectively 1 – 5 – 2 and ‘going for it’. Suddenly the dam broke in dramatic style (think Wigan at Spurs this season), although it took touch of controversy. Simon J took the ball down the right, colours defence called the ball out – the linesman (sort, assistant referee) shouted ply on and Ross finished – 2-1 Bibs. 3-1 immediately followed, again a great build up with Ross and Kev linking up for Rich B to tap in – with his left foot! Rich then hit the bar after Jason N and Ross had set him up and Ross hit the post. There was more one way traffic than when Woody calls “It’s my round at the bar”. Tuvvy kept his composure again and made it 4-1. Not to be outdone, Simon J hit a 40 yard cross field pass to Tuvvy, who brought it down and passed to Jason who scored for 5-1.

Towney’s team were shell shocked. They had been in the game for 25 mins and now were destined to lose. Will had other ideas – give him a bit of space and he will punish you (thinking about it, he punishes you in very little space, but in the case, he did have space). Intercepting in his defensive third, he set off at pace, weaving round the non-existent defence before laying it off for Gavin to tap in. 5-2.

Again the game was strangely even, both sides attacking like in the film 300. It was only the score line that was imbalanced. Ross caped a fine debut with another for 6-2, Dan not to be outdone, scored after a nice layoff from Dave and Tuvvy completed his hat trick for 7-3.
Towney was back in net, making good saves with his feet and rushing out of goal to block attacks. He was unlucky that the first time he used his hands, it fell straight to Jason who made it 8-3. Heads were down on colours, players were massing on the touch line for the next match. Still enough time for Dan to hit over the bar from a closer range than Simon earlier in the game and for Towney to come out of goal and hit a quality effort over the fence. Having dominated for a couple of minutes, it was therefore a further irritation to colours that even when Jason had made a great save in net, Simon J got a tap in for 9-3 and the game was over.

Goal of the week: There wasn’t quite the quality of the previous weeks’. Most seemed to be tap ins, although Tuvvy will try and claim he scored 3 so one should be, and Rich B will bring up the fact his was left footed…however, I am one for team build ups and Jason Norwich scored a good goal after Simon J and Tuvvy had combined over 40 yards. So for the second week running, it goes to a goal born out of team play. Well done bibs and Jason.

Man of the match: No competition! Simon Jowett was awesome. He was everywhere, heading clear, tackling, saving and spraying the ball around. He also got the final goal. A really fine performance and when he sobers up from Leeds’ promotion, he can be thoroughly proud of himself!! Well done Simon.

Match Report: Wed 28th April 2010

Will’s Team 6 (Matt, Rich B, Simon B, Steve, Will, Jason, young Simon and Kev)
Tuvvy’s Team 4 (Sam, Dave, Rich C, Andy, Tuvvy, Roy, Jason Norwich, Gavin)

You know how it is – a big game, you set off early, meet your mates and go to the match high in expectation of watching a classic….only for the traffic to be appalling, the queue to get in the be round the ground and then when you try to get to your seat someone else is in it so you miss the first 10 mins? That’s what it was like for me on Wednesday night….without the traffic, queue and someone else……or friends now I think about it………
However, I was pathetically excited about watching the latest episode in the St Paul’s Wednesday night saga so imagine my pleasure at finding out that it was still 0-0 (despite Buncey claiming I’d missed his perfect hat trick already!!).

At this point the game still hadn’t really settled, 10 mins in an Matt and I were having a good chat behind the goal (well I was – he was in it) and I was finding out about Kerron [bored and would probably appreciate some texts/dvds etc if you can spare 5 mins] and watching space on the left for Rich Church for Tuvvy’s team and down the middle for Simon B for Wills. Nothing seemed to be falling for either of them though despite the best efforts of the collective midfields.

Finally the deadlock was broken and it took a bit of luck. A shot from Steve, hit Jason Norwich and fell to Simon B who slotted home. 1-0 to Will’s lot. Will’s team suddenly began to apply pressure, Roy cleared off the line and one for the record books, Towny saved one…with his hands…and it was going in. Will had left his shooting boots with Yaya Toure (see shot v Inter) and was getting some grief from the crowd as he blasted high wide and well pretty much every where but in the goal. Simon was once again industrious but was finding no room past Roy or Sam.

Eventually the tide would turn and it turned round the Alan Cork (http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/photos/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=150370278&page=7) look alike that is Tuvvy. His first contribution was a wonderful low finish into the bottom corner after good work from Gavin. Tuvvy has improved so much in the past 12 months and this finish demonstrated it – he didn’t panic, kept his head over the ball and drilled it – even the cat Kev would have had no chance. Tuvvy’s next action was to magnificently chest down a goal kick to Gavin who finished into the bottom corner with an unstoppable shot. A great goal and Tuvvy’s team lead 2-1.

The game had now got a pattern and it was this: Will’s team were playing a really nice passing game, moving the ball left and rigft with Buncey, Will and Steve instrumental in their moves. Simon was running backwards and forwards across the line like he was auditioning for the closing scenes of a Benny Hill show and Jason holding a wide left position. Tuvvy’s team were playing a much more direct game with Dave and Roy happy to shift the ball out to the left where Rich C was causing real problems for the whole defence (Matt).

Simon B delighted the crowd with a flick round the defender only for the ball to drop agonisingly away from him to the keeper. A great intercept by Buncey started and attack – Buncey to young Simon, young Simon to Jason, Jason shoots – over the bar. Great stuff. Next it was Matt’s turn to get to the ball first and drive forward, his pass to Will was firm, Will tried to do what Simon had done two minutes earlier….but missed completely and ended up looking like a flamingo (with his face about the right colour too). It was a strangley one sided affair but still Tuvvy’s team lead.
Then can the kind of battle you pay to see – imagine Neil Ruddock meets Chris Morgan; Di Canio versus Allcock..Jason and Roy went at it as the ball broke lose - both teams cheered on their man as the battled fro it…Jason won out, the ball broke to Will who broke his duck (and quite rightly taunted the crowd).

I think the game was level for about 20 seconds! Tuvvy once again benefitting from some over-passing at the back to finish – 3-2. Jason Norwich was having his turn in net and clearly getting bored – after one long range effort, he brought it down on his chest, onto his thigh and volleyed clear – good skills, and something that Will’s team should have been looking out for later in the game.

There then followed a period of what can only be described as Sunday league finishing. I haven’t really mentioned Rich C that much but he was playing really well for Tuvvy’s team. He was bossing the left wing but also making good runs, holding the ball up and releasing the likes of Tuvvy and Gavin constantly. However, he now was given a couple of good opportunities to extend the lead….the first went out for a throw, the second through the gate…throw or goal kick? Dave also felt that the way to goal was via the corner flag and not to be out done for Will’s side, Matt also nested the ball firmly in the corner of the pitch rather than the net though.

Jason Norwich had come out of net and was determined to get a goal. He ran half the length of the pitch on one mazey dribble onto have his shot saved by young Simon. The game was really open now, Steve got his second after good work from Buncey and we were very much game on at 3-3.

Then the turning point – Gavin left. It meant Tuvvy’s team were a man down and with the passing from Will’s side increasing all the while, Tuvvy’s team were always going to struggle. Steve grabbed his second after a neat layoff from Simon B and Matt got on the score sheet with a tap in – assist to Steve again. 5- 3 Will.
But Tuvvy’s team were not ones to lie down and having given them fair warning earlier Jason Norwich scored. This time it was chest, thigh, dribble, goal. Very pleasing on the eye, especially as Buncey had just gone in net…..and was out again before you could say “Great goal Jason”.

Events were running to a close – the masses of fans were ready to invade the pitch (or rather the next booking was ready). Just enough time for Captain Will to score his second wiuth a well timed run and finish.
A really good game of two well balanced teams playing different styles. Definitely better than watching Inter bore the pants of 98000 Catalans in Barcelona!!

Goal of the game: There were a number of contenders for this – Tuvvy’s cool finish, the final goal of Wills and Jason Norwich one man quest of keepie upies….however goal of the game was a really good team goal. Will crossed from the left to Simon B whose one touch knock down was perfect for Steve to hit it first time in the bottom corner. A classy goal and although Steve gets it – well done Will and Simon too.

Man of the match: As always a number of players stand up on an evening and look the part. Jason Norwich is becoming more and more confident on the ball, Matt had a great game in defence, Simon was every where, Steve and Will passed all night (although Will was probably trying to shoot). Rich Church had a blinder out on the left, Buncey looked clam and collected again (except in goal). Gavin was great when he was running at people and scored a good goal…..however one player was absolutely solid at the back for Tuvvy’s side. He marked well, intercepted and took control when he needed too. Sam gets my man of the match –well played young sir!