Match Report: Wednesday 23rd June

Paul's Team 9
Kev's Team 8

Paul's Team: Paul, Dave, Phil, Rich C, Will, Steve J, Sam, Jason F
Kev's Team: Kev, Matt, Buncey, Tom, Dave C, Andy, Kendall, Simon B, Tuvvy

Job 1? Get England through to next round - done. Job 2? Play footy. Number of abusive shouts from Acomb's finest due to wearing Everton top whilst cycling to footy? 2 (although, on one of those occasions I was called "Chelsea scum").

We had a good turnout, especially considering Simon had drunk his own body weight in ale beforehand (yes, that is A LOT of ale). Phil and Simon eyed each other up like Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - "I ain't goin' on McBride's team" Simon announced in his own unique Devonshire drawl. There was a debut for Dave but we were missing Steve G, Roy and the long term injured duo of Brett and Kerron. Good news on Kerron is that he is back at work and can surely only be a couple of weeks away from a comeback.

Tuvvy was back and needed four goals to win his bet with Matt and win a pint. Matt smiled smugly to himself knowing his money was going nowhere.

We kicked off and Paul's team came roaring out of the blocks and Phil (who was particularly fired-up), Will and Rich Church passed and ran around and through the bewildered defence of Kev's team and it wasn't long before Will had put them 1-0 up with a nice finish past Matt. 1 soon became 2 and Simon B was forced to drop back to help Tom in defence. Phil announced that he was bored playing in defence so had decided to spend a game attacking for a change. Although he was playing really well, he was winding himself up by getting frustrated with every tiny mistake (of which there were hardly any). This led Phil to go on one of his trademark I'm-angry-so-you'd-better-not-get-in-my-way-or-there-will-be-trouble runs. He beat a few players (including Matt twice!) before Matt finally managed to get a foot to the ball to tackle him, however the ball broke to an attacker who found Will and Will slotted home calmly. Phil celebrated angrily. Kev's team were attacking as well though and Andy had been unlucky when a nice chip beat the keeper but clipped the top of the bar. Buncey, Kev and Dave C were doing well in midfield and some pressure led to a corner. Dave C sent in a beautiful ball and Tuvvy found space in the box and headed home. Matt joked about him getting three more (ha, yeah, as if!). Shortly afterwards Dave C made a good tackle in midfield and the ball broke to him nicely, he looked up and hit an absolute rocket into the top corner! Paul did well to get a hand to it but there was no stopping that shot.

Other Dave was having a good debut and looks to be a pretty decent player. With him, Steve J, Will, Churchy and Phil linking up there were plenty of goal scoring chances being created. Tom made a number of good saves and a couple of easy ones that he made look good - I think he was still trying to impress the Hockey Girls (Tom dude, they haven't been there for weeks!). Rich Church was back on form and was having a blinder on the left wing. In one moment of brilliance (having switched to the right wing) he turned Matt, leaving him rooted to the spot like a sculpture of a sumo. Not long after he picked the ball up on the left and from a tight angle smacked the ball past the keeper to claim a deserved goal. Buncey and Kendall were having a blast running at the opposition and Phil dropped back into defence to help Sam out - those two were like a rock and for all their possession Kev's team were struggling to fashion chances for Simon B and Tuvvy. However, goals did come. Tom scored a cracker from distance and Tuvvy somehow grabbed a couple to move within 1 goal of winning his bet. Buncey and Kev had half-chances but the ball just wouldn't fall for them.

At the other end, Steve J and Will were still causing problems and Will seemed to be scoring for fun. Kev's defence seemed to be more and more thinly spread and Steve J got a goal or two. Simon was screaming at the defence but they seemed to have vanished like they were part of some eerie David Blaine trick. Matt was lumbering around looking like a man who'd polished off two family buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken and a ditch of chips and his attempts at defending made him look like a one-legged man in an arse kicking competition. A long punt up field bounced just outside the area and it was Tuvvy versus the keeper, Tuvvy got a head to the ball but it hit the top of the crossbar and bounced over. So close to grabbing his fourth.
Jason F had made a few good saves but finally Tuvvy got the break he needed and he smashed the ball triumphantly past the keeper to win the bet. Four goals in one game. Well Done Tuvvy. Matt asked him if he was an ale or lager man. Tuvvy replied that he will "drink anything". Turps it is then.

Tuvvy then went in goal and someone (Will, I think) smashed a brilliant shot which Tuvvy just let in announcing "I wasn't going to get in the way of that." Must remember to explain that that is the whole point of a goal keeper next time! Even with Tuvvy's four goals Paul's team proved a bit too strong for Kev's team and they ended up 9-8 winners. When you consider that they were a man down for most of the game, that deserves a round of applause. Well played guys. It was a much better game than the mess of last week and let's hope the quality continues.

Goal Of The Week: Another classic that seems to happen regularly under the Oaklands lights. No, not Tom's thunderbolt or Dave's bullet like smash into the top corner. A totally different kettle of fish. An attack from Kev's team ended with an angled ball into the box, but there weren't any strikers anywhere near it and the danger seemed to have melted away. Enter Phil McBride. Defending at the back post, Phil opted to knock the ball out for a corner, a simple flick with the outside of his right foot would have done the trick. However, surprisingly, for the head of a maths department, Phil got his angles all wrong and belted the ball into the roof of his own net from a couple of yards out. There was a moment of shocked silence followed by gleeful laughter. Phil looked like a man who, upon looking for his signed Bobby Moore England top from 1966, was informed by his mother-in-law "What? That old thing? I threw it out weeks ago." It wasn't a pretty sight.

Player Of The Week: There was a lot going on in this match, 17 goals and bags of chances. It's probably not surprising that, with the exception of Sam (who was his normal solid, dependable self) the standout players are attackers. Rich Church was excellent and, although Kev played really well, Rich probably just outdid him this week. Buncey was brilliant and continues to show some exquisite skills. Phil was far too hard on himself and had a really good game. Tuvvy got four goals which is outstanding and Dave had a great debut. It is hard to separate Steve J and Will - they are both fantastic players and recently you could argue that Steve has had the upper hand. However, Will played a blinder last night and was simply sublime. From the first minute to the last he terrorized Kev's team. He scored at hatful of goals but it was his all round game that was so impressive. Bringing players into the game by spreading the ball wide, neat one-twos and countless dangerous runs - he was on fire and a complete nightmare to try and defend against. Will never has a bad game, but last night he made Lionel Messi look like Lionel Blair. Dodgy earrings aside, you just have to admire the bloke really. Well played Will.

Match Report: Wednesday 16th June

Tom's Team 12
Matt's Team 3

Tom's Team: Tom/Andy, Kev, Rich C, Gavin, Steve J, Simon J, Sam
Matt's Team: Tom/Andy, Matt, Buncey, Will, Dave, Steve G, Len Badger (replaced after 10mins by Jason Norwich)

A totally demoralising defeat that I can't bring myself to write about. Matt's team had no finishing ability, no organisation, no goalkeeping skills, and no passing skills... actually, that's not entirely true, I think the problem was more that they did have Matt rather than what they didn't have. To be fair, Matt's team did try and make a fight of it, but Tom's team were ruthless and showed no mercy. Gavin grabbed a hatfull, Steve J was able to play at 13% of his ability and still run rings round the opposition, Simon J was class, Sam let nothing by him in defence, Rich C enjoyed the freedom of the left wing and Tom was like the general that held it all together. For Matt's team, Buncey did well and ran his socks off, Will was unlucky in front of goal and could have bagged a couple more goals, Dave and Andy never gave up and tackled brilliantly, Steve G had a good game, proved he's still one of our best passers and also proved he's not a world-beater between the sticks. Jason Norwich had a good game and it was a shame that Len Badger could only play for a few mins as we missed his organisational and motivational skills (not to mention his Messi like qualities). Matt should really hang up his boots or at least go on a diet and learn how to kick a ball properly.

All-in-all, one to forget for Matt's team, but Tom's team deserved to win by that kind of margin, they were awesome! It's just a shame Matt's team can't blame the ball.

Goal Of The Week: Rich Church scored one of those St Paul's Oaklands classics! A hopeful punt towards goal with his left foot evaded everyone and bounced (seemingly!) harmlessly in the goal area. Andy, in goal, inexplicably decided to duck under the bounce and the ball looped into the unguarded net. A great goal for Rich but poor old Andy will be having nightmares about that for some time!

Player Of The Week: Kev Church was absolutely sublime! He has been getting stronger and stronger this season but last night had the game of his (St Paul's Wednesday evening kick-abouts) life! He was everywhere, displaying his usual quality in goal, defending brilliantly, driving forward through midfield, breaking up play, starting counter attacks and grabbing a goal with an excellent finish past Matt into the top corner. His hard work allowed Gavin, Steve and Simon to concentrate on pulling the opposition to pieces. I love Kev's wide eyed enthusiasm for everything - he's like a puppy on speed chasing an imaginary ball. Last night it's not exaggerating (much) to say England could use him in South Africa, forget Carrick, Rooney and Gerrard - you've got all that in one player. There is slight hint of Hans Klopek from "The 'Burbs" in there too. Great game Kev, a fully deserved POTW. Now, can Rich raise his game or is it going to be Kev's season in the Church household?

Match Report: Wednesday 9th June

Tom's Team: 6
Phil's Team: 10

Tom's Team: Tom, Kev, Paul, Andy, Dave, Kendall, Simon J and Simon B
Phil's Team: Phil, Matt, Rich C, Buncey, Will, Sam, Gavin and Simon B

A grey, overcast evening at Oaklands but the threatened rain never arrived and it was pretty good conditions for a kick-about. Phil was back for his first game with us since the 11-a-side against Chambers and he was raring to go, fresh from a hat-trick on Monday, he looked as excited as Vanessa Feltz in a bun factory.

Tom picked the teams and we kicked off with Phil's team kicking towards the school. Phil was out of the blocks like Usain Bolt and had his name on the scoresheet before you could say "What dodgy knees?" - a nice one-two in a crowded goal area and Phil slammed the ball home giving Tom no chance in goal. With a player extra Phil's team were really dominating the play and Buncey was practically salivating over the amount of space he was finding - together with Will, Gavin and Rich Church he was tearing the opposition to pieces. With Simon B supporting from the wing, it was all Phil's team attacking. A scintillating move saw Will find Simon B with a pin point-pass, Simon delivered a perfect low cross and Matt arrived at the back post and tapped home to claim goal of the week early in the game. What? Oh Ok, Matt arrived at the back post and contrived to hit said post from about 2 yards out with the ball going out for a goal kick. Like Diana Ross in the opening ceremony of USA 94 it was a shot that defied logic - it was IMPOSSIBLE to miss and yet, somehow, Matt managed it. Hands on hips Matt glanced to the heavens, but no explanation was forthcoming and Simon B's mocking laughter rang around the Oaklands turf.

Another goal from Phil after a nice one-two with Buncey and one from Will and Gavin made it 4-0 and Phil's team let their mind drift towards double figures. However, Tom's team started to fight back and a nice break found Andy on the left wing and his lobbed cross was volleyed past Rich C by Paul. 4-1. Another nice attack from Phil's team ended when the ball fell to Matt after a scramble. With the keeper nowhere to be seen and the defence wrong-footed, Matt simply had to hit the target. Once again, however, he contrived to miss from 4 yards when it seemed harder to miss than score and once again Simon B's laughter echoed in his ears. Sometimes, it is better to just stay in defence. Then, at the other end, Kev, who had been playing well again, found himself in the area, the ball had ballooned into the air, but Kev displayed exquisite control to bring the ball down, jink past the last defender and smash the ball past the keeper with a shot that nearly ripped the net off the goal. Perhaps overconfidence had effected Phil's team?

It was about halfway through the game so Simon B swapped teams to give Tom's team the extra player and the pressure was kept on Phil's defence. Simon B found space out wide and laid a lovely ball off for Simon J on the edge of the area and he found the net despite a last ditch dive from both Matt and Sam, 4-2 and the fightback was on. Dave, Tom, Simon J and Kev were linking well and causing the opposition defence lots of problems and with Kendall, Paul and Simon B always available out wide it took good defending from Phil on a number of occasions to halt an attack at a vital moment. Indeed, such was Phil's team's love of attacking he was often left with only Sam and the overweight, donkey footed Matt to help him defend which made all his tackles all the more important. Simon B was proving a valuable outlet for Tom's team and Kendall was getting more into the game and the increased pressure led to a couple more goals. Then Tom dilly dallied in defence, messing around waiting for the ball to go out, but Matt got a chubby foot to the ball and found Rich Church who, from the tighest of angles, wrong footed everyone and slotted home with the outside of his left foot - a great goal. Will then crashed a fantastic effort against the crossbar - if Kev got a hand to that then it was an awesome save.

Sam had been having his usual solid game at right back and was unfortunate when, whilst challenging Andy, the ball ricocheted off Andy's toe and slammed into Sam's nose sending his glasses flying through the air. Sam sat out for a couple of minutes and had only been back on the pitch for a few moments when practically the same thing happened again. It would be rude to laugh... but we all did anyway and Sam looked like he'd done a few rounds with Ivan Drago and was left looking like a cross between Iain Dowie and a butcher's dog.

Then the lights went out.

The game continued in the kind of half-light you would find in a seedy bar but the gloom was illuminated by a moment of magic from everyone's favorite maths teacher. From a corner on the right, Gavin found Phil as he charge forward and he let fly with a great shot that went like a rocket into the bottom corner. Paul, in goal, was unsighted but it doesn't take anything away from what a great strike it was. Then Matt finally got something right - a great cross from Will found him unmarked at the back post and he cushioned a nice header towards the far side of the goal. However, Paul dived to his right and tipped the ball away with his outstretched arm - a great save. Will was playing brilliantly and after a break out of defence, laid a lovely ball off to Matt. Buncey had made a well timed run and Matt knocked the ball into his path and Buncey grabbed his second of the game with a calm finish. There was still time for Dave to miss a sitter after Simon B had squared the ball to him and, after great work from Andy, Kendall grabbed a goal with the last kick of the game.

All in all and enjoyable game with more attacking than defending and was nice to see Rich Church back on the scoresheet.

Goal Of The Week: Special mention for Phil's goal (which he claims was like Vasili Rats goal for USSR against France in Mexico 86!!!). However, Paul wins GOTW this week with a beauty! He volleyed past Rich Church with a coolness reminisent of Clint Eastwood in "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" - an absolutely ruthless finish that Van Basten would have been proud of. Great goal Paul.

Player Of The Week: Will was magnificent again, linking well with Gavin and Buncey and grabbing a couple of nice goals. Rich Church put in a great performance, and probably, for the first time in a while, outdid his brother who also had an excellent game. For Tom's team Dave and both Simons stood out as did Paul who seems to get better each game. It would be hard not to give POTW to Phil McBride though. The enforced rest has done wonders and he looked like a new player - just like Maradona at USA 94 (although there was no way I was asking for a urine sample). A hat-trick and a whisker away from claiming goal of the week- Phil had a good attacking game but it was in defence where he excelled. He was already fired up, but when Simon Bissett swapped teams, Phil had an extra gleam in his eye and nothing got past him. Often abandoned in defence as his team went glory hunting up the pitch, Phil kept Tom's team at bay single handedly at times and he made it look easy, like Phil Jagielka tackling a blindfolded Heather Mills. He's obviously had time to reflect whilst he's been injured because he didn't shout and bark orders to get back and help him he just calmly mopped up every attack, like Hong Kong Phooey crossed with Keanu Reeves in Point Break. Like a trustworthy and likeable John Terry with the silky defensive play of Ashley Cole a hint of the looks of Steve Ogrizovic and Phil Neville - Phil is the perfect centre back. He's not too bad when he ventures over the half-way line either. Great game Phil, but can your knees keep up this level of performance?

You can see that Rats goal below

Match Report: Saturday 5th June

St Paul’s 5
Carb’s team (York Baptist) 1

The first Saturday in June, a perfect pre-World Cup friendly and the boys from St Paul’s mirrored the famous England win over Germany with a superb show of football prowess.

A beautifully warm day greeted the players and the Wednesday warm-up had secured places for a number of players and we were bolstered by the return of a number of friendly faces and Woody!

Thirteen players proved to be a perfect number for the circumstances and the diversity of choice for the opposition may have been a disadvantage as they tinkered more than Claudio Ranieri to find a suitable line-up to deal with the marauding football of St Paul’s, by which time they were 4-0 down!

Tom proved to be a mercurial captain with a footballing brain not dissimilar to Bobby Robson, i.e. nobody could work out what he was doing but it certainly worked. The line up was organized with Simon B on the left wing which caused some eyebrows to raise and the supportive comment from Woody that “ he hadn’t thought this through!” but Tom was confident in his ability.

The line up was as follows; Kev Church – GK, Rich Church, LB, Matt Y & Tom, CB, Roy, RB, Simon B, LM, Woody, Will & Steve G, CM, Simon J, RM and Tuvvy, CF. Steve J & Nathan beginning on the bench.

Unorthodox but inspired!

The first few minutes was dominated by feet finding by both teams with early touches for the goalies and no real threat but it was St Paul’s that made the first decisive move and after some good harrying in the opposition’s final third a couple of corners were forced. The second was whipped in by Simon J’s right foot and the full back lashed it into his own net from an acute angle, very reminiscent of the Japanese own goal against England last week! This early blow damaged the opposition like Amir Khan in a title fight and St Paul’s built on this early advantage with some scintillating play for the next 35 mins.

Three goals followed in quick succession; a penalty from captain Tom which was saved by their keeper but like a true professional, he followed up his kick and was lashed in by the Captain Marvel; a beauty by Steve J, following a long free kick delivered to the chest of Simon B on the edge of the area and touched down too close to Steve’s right foot so he had to hit it with his left – right into the top left corner of the goal; and a well-controlled lob by Will who kept his head when running through onto a terrific through ball, like Gary Lineker against Cameroon in Italia 90 following a ball from Gazza!

Speaking of which we ought to consult Woody watch – he was his normal combative self, inspired by his retro England top but the miss of the day was his, following a great through ball from Simon B, he conspired to miss by a country mile and was reminded by everyone else of his own high standards!

The rolling substitutions allowed a continuity from St Paul’s and the football continued to flow all through the first half, although 4-0 wasn’t flattering with scuffed chances by Simon B and Nathan. Maybe worthy of note was that there was a little unsportsmanlike barracking of the referee like Arsenal under Wenger on a penalty decision and this did seem to disturb the opposition more than St Paul’s except for Woody who stood up for his brother-in-law like a true family man and did enough standing up for all 13 St Paul’s players. However, refereeing a game is never anyone’s favourite past-time and we should thank Rob for his sterling work enabling us all to play and enjoy the game!

So St Paul’s left the field at half-time happy with our efforts and Tom’s Capello style team-talk was left unopened. Drinks were taken on board as the day continued to be warm despite the initial downpour and the rolling substitutions saw Tom and Roy leave the field for their 15 minute rest.

In the pub afterwards Tom was quick to point out that it was whilst he was off the field that the opposition scored with a well-taken header and Matt Y blamed himself (as always) for losing the goal scorer but the balance was restored almost immediately as the keeper had a rush of blood, came too far and Steve J bagged his second despite the Lee Evans style contortions of their hot-headed skipper.

This proved to be the final meaningful action of the game with Carb’s team looking increasingly industrious and St Paul’s becoming more blasé, particularly captain Tom, pirouetting on the edge of his own penalty area and Roy’s superb control with his backside to avoid a throw-in. Seriously, the fightback never looked likely and the game was seen out comfortably except for Woody whose effusive style appeared to yield a self-inflicted injury so serious that he could not join the team for drinks after the game and later prompted the text message – “ I demand sympathy!”; needless to say it was wholly forthcoming.

Man of the match and Goal of the game both belong to Steve J who was like a young Cesc Fabregas, only better looking, and got the vote from the selection panel at The Sun.

Well done everyone on another victory and commiserations to Phil McBride who thought invincibility was what he brought to the team! Bring on the summer tournament!




Match Report by Simon Bissett

Match Report: Wednesday 2nd June

Tom's Team: 4

Kev's Team: 7

Tom's Team: Tom, Matt, Simon J, Simon B, Rich C, Jason F, Roy

Kev's Team: Kev, Gavin, Dave, Tuvvy, Steve J, Sam, Andy T

A glorious summer evening greeted a reduced band of players, with Brett, Kerron, Jonny, Phil all injured, Buncey on holiday and Dave C, Will, Steve G and Paul all missing we had a 7-a-side and the prospect of Simon B having to run around for a change. Simon's opening gambit? "Matt, the sun is glinting off your grey hair". Nice. Gavin brought a mate along who's name I forget, so he's called Dave now if he wasn't already. Tom reminded everyone that they were playing for their place in Saturday's team - this turned out to be bad news for Matt who played like a cross between Carlton Palmer and Charlie Chalk.

Kev's team were quick out of the blocks and were attacking straight away, Dave had a low drive from distance, a daisy-cutter that was flying into the bottom corner, but Matt pulled off a good save and put the ball out for a corner kick. Simon B was still putting his boots on behind the goal and declared that he "wouldn't have bothered diving for that" - Matt made a mental note not to let him in goal. Simon B then entered the fray and joined Rich Church up front and Tom's team were soon ahead against the run of play. Gavin, Dave and Steve J were enjoying spraying the ball around and tearing Tom’s team to pieces with some sumptuous passing, and Steve J found some space, jinked inside on the left and tried his luck from distance. Matt, again, got down quickly and made the save… except, he didn’t, not quite… the ball slipped though his hands and rolled into the back of the net, a soft goal to concede. It was like the time at school when Francene Peters slipped out of my grasp and left me for David Groom – I still don’t know what she saw in him, maybe she just knew that he was a better goalkeeper than me. Anyway, enough was enough and it was time to swap keepers.

Roy was having a spectacular game in defence but also broke forward and hammered in a great goal to put his team 2-1 up. Then Tuvvy lost his marker at a corner and his header was not far wide. Another good move from Kev’s team led to a shooting chance but Tom saved well and put the ball out for a corner. Tom’s defence barked orders and “marked up”, then Roy shouted “Who’s got Steve?” to which Matt replied “I have” – then the corner came in a Steve J was away like Speedy Conzales and had the ball in the back of the net. Matt was about 30 yards away looking confused like a resident of “Sunny Glade” retirement community. That made it 2-2 and it wasn’t long before Kev’s team made it 3 and started to take a firm grip on the game. Tom then tried to score from his own goal area and wasn’t far off, although Kev probably had it covered.

Kev was playing really well again (he’s found some form over the past few weeks) and was breaking up lots of attacks and linking well with Dave and Steve to keep Tom’s team’s defence under pressure. He had a nice effort from outside the area that didn’t quite dip enough. Kev and Andy were brilliant and didn’t seem to tire all game, making countless tackles and with Sam a rock in defence this meant that Gavin, Dave, Tuvvy and Steve J were free to attack at will – Steve looked like a kid in a sweet shop with all the space he was finding. A cross from Dave found Gavin at the back post but he directed his header wide. Dave then scored a screamer from a corner, a great volley that a combination of Roy, Matt and the crossbar failed to stop. I think Gavin grabbed one from long range that left Jason scrabbling around in his area clutching thin air and then Jason saved well at his far post from someone else. Dave then extended Kev’s team’s lead with another fine run and finish. It wasn’t all one way traffic though and Rich Church, Simon J and Simon B were playing really well together and forging some openings - wayward finishing from Matt, Tom and Jason would ultimately prove costly though. A peach of a ball from Tom found Matt at the back post but he choked like a University Challenge Maths Geek caught in a Tsunami of disdain from Jeremy Paxman and like a wet lettuce in a sock glanced his header wide. Pathetic. A nice move between Rich and Simon B led to Simon crossing the ball in to Jason but he couldn’t quite direct the ball in. Simon B was having a good game on the right and was keeping Sam busy in defence. Simon looks a bit like a Bulldog, with his squat posture, Neanderthal gait, square shoulders and a snarl that makes Hannibal Lecter seem cuddly. Chat to him over a pint though and you’ll find he’s more like Cantona with his philosophical trawlers and sardines rather than Andoni “The Butcher Of Bilbao” Goikoetxea – just don’t spill the pint while you’re talking to him. Anyway, after a quick break from Tom’s team, a square ball from Matt found Simon B and he lashed home his second of the match to make it 6-4 and perhaps we had a fight-back on our hands. Then Tuvvy found some space and smashed home a great half-volley and any thoughts of a fight-back faded faster than Darren Bent’s World Cup dreams. Time was called and Kev’s team had recorded a deserved win, although Tom’s team were worthy opponents and were always in the game.

Goal Of The Week: Dave’s goals were good and Simon B’s finishing was clinical but this week GOTW goes to Tuvvy. He was unlucky with a header early on, but battled up front all game and took his chance brilliantly. A nice half-volley into the corner that gave the keeper no chance. Great finish Tuvvy.

Player Of The Week: Great debut from Dave, with some awesome runs and some nice goals. Simon J was, again, first class and involved in most of what was good about Tom’s team and Steve J was absolutely fantastic. However, POTW goes to Roy who had a spectacular game in defence – I’m sure he swapped positions about two months ago and decided to concentrate more on defending and he’s not looked back since. Without Roy at the back winning countless tackles, Tom’s team would have been on the end of a humiliating annihilation but Roy was harder to get past than the Siegfried Line, swallowing wave after wave of attacks like the Pit Of Sarlacc. Roy is like a cross between Stuart Pearce and Roberto Carlos and was outstanding not only in defence, but his goal was pretty good too! Roy looks like that “northern anarchist” Alex Riley from the BBC, but I bet Roy’s not only funnier but a better footballer (and I bet Alex Riley isn’t running 10K for really good cause either!). Great game Roy, well played, keep it up for Saturday!

Tuvvy Watch: Well, my bet seems to have put some form of hex on Tuvvy's goal scoring spree. He grabbed a goal today and that means he needs four in the next game to win a pint. However, I am feeling generous and will give him a sporting chance by allowing him to count any goals he gets in the 11-a-side on Saturday as well. So, he's got a possible 150 minutes to get four goals and that’s not a wager to sniff at!