Match Report: Wednesday 15th December

Carbs' Team 4

Ed's Team 9ish

Carbs' Team: Carbs, Roy, Tom H, Shaun, Tuvvy, Will, Dave C, Andy T, Robin, Sam
Ed's Team: Ed, Matt, Phil, Mike, Jason, Fletch, Tom W, Kev, Sam

After missing two weeks due to snow the Energise pitch was finally cleared and 17 of St Paul's finest and Matt turned up and the lack of football had left most of us looking like the crew of Das Boot. Tom H in particular had the look of a man who'd been locked in a cupboard for a week and been forced to watch the XFactor knowing all along that on the other channel England's batsman were dishing it out to the Aussies.

Matt picked the teams and Carbs' Team kicked off, shooting towards the school end. Phil, who has been away longer than a Chillean miner, immediately slotted into the centre-back player maker role that Brett had made his own (I assume Brett was missing as he was off foiling the penguin's latest scheme) and, such was his command of that side of the pitch, it freed up the likes of Kev and Tom W to support Jason, Fletch and Ed in attack. It wasn't long before Tom H was called into action in goal, alternating between sublime goalkeeping that would make Neville Southall proud and a kinda Anne Widdecome style prancing around the 6-yard area. It did the trick though and Ed's team couldn't find the break through despite some nice passing moves. Ed was unlucky with a couple of snap shots. Roy and Dave were defending brilliantly and Roy in particular looked like he meant business.

Then after defending another attack from Ed's Team, Carbs team broke quickly and the ball found its way to Carbs who showed his usual excellent control (the ball sticks to his feet almost like it's a part of him, it reminds me of Terminator 2, but with builders) and he looked odds-on to score but his curling shot struck a combination of post and bar and the rebound was cleared by the alert Kev Church. A warning to Ed's team.

Fletch then broke the deadlock with a nice finish into the bottom corner following another good move involving Mike and Ed. A few moments later Carbs' team were almost level when Matt gave the ball away in defence and Robin got through on goal, but his shot was well saved by Phil in goal. Ed then made it 2-0 with a quality flick with his heel after a good kick-in from Mike. It was nice to see that both teams were trying to play the ball on the deck and some of the passing displayed by the likes of Phil, Mike, Ed, Shaun, Carbs and Tom H was outstanding. Another good ball from Mike, this time from a corner found Matt at the back post, but the rotund Evertonian didn't get enough power into his header and Tuvvy easily plucked it from the air.

Will, Robin and Carbs were linking up really well and Dave was tackling well in midfield which gave Will the freedom to run with the ball. He showed some great skill to beat Matt, completely sending him the wrong way, but his shot drifted just wide of the post. By this point Sam had arrived and joined Carbs team, which put them 2 players up, but 2 goals down. However, Sam slotted into defence alongside Roy and Tom and Carbs team slowly started to dominate the game. Carbs scored a beauty after bringing the ball down, turning, beating a defender and smashing the ball past the keeper.

It was developing into a really good game and a hard fought contest. Mike, Fletch and Jason were doing well on the left and Mike was defending excellently. For Carbs team, Robin and Andy looked dangerous on their left and Roy was playing some fantastic long balls to the ever present goal-threat in the form of Carbs. Kev even got in on the act, by flicking a clearance over Will's head and turning to start an attack - was this Acomb or Brazil?

Robin set up Dave with a clever run to the byline and a nice ball into the area where Dave was waiting to smash home from 2 yards after a nice run to find space. Then Will scored one of his specials, a great finish from distance and a contender for Goal Of The Game. Will then looked odds-on to grab a second when the ball fell to him 6 yards out. With Kev struggling to get back in goal it looked certain to be 4-2, but somehow Will contrived to scuff his shot and in the end Kev made a rountine save. Not long after that, another goal did come (sorry, can't remember the scorer and it was 4-2). With Ed's team, 2 players and 2 goals down, Sam swapped teams to make it 9-a-side

Once again Sam proved to be the pivotal player and the game once again swung in the favour of Ed's team. Phil was now playing a more attacking role, slotting in behind the strikers and playing some lovely football, even the ever dependable defensive presence of Tom H struggled to keep Phil in check. A good corner from Ed was poked into the net by Kev, Phil grabbed a hat-trick (an event that, like him buying a round, happens only once in a lifetime) and even the Billy Bunter like Matt got on the scoresheet after beating both Will and Roy and slotting the ball past Tuvvy with the outside of his boot. Roy was unlucky when a brilliant clearance off the line after a shot by Matt was smashed straight back past him into the net by Kev. Ed had a great snapshot that drifted just wide, but his team were on top and the score was about 9-4.

The chances didn't stop though, only some good keeping by Jason, Kev and Sam stopped Carbs team getting more goals. One clearance by Sam was awesome, realising he'd strayed out of his area he leapt like the proverbial salmon and headed the ball away. Carbs thought he'd score but Kev pulled off one of his trademark quality saves and Andy blasted over on the back post when he really should have hit the target. At the other end, Phil was unlucky to head over a great corner from Ed and Fletch saw a missile of a shot go just wide.

Towny and Will then went for the same ball and ended up colliding in a moment reminiscent of the keystone cops and Kev nearly castrated Tuvvy with a high boot. It only happens at St Paul's footy!

There was just enough time for Carbs team to try for a consolation goal from a corner, but once again, Ed's team defended well and "time" was called. A great game after a frustrating break. Let's hope there's more of the same next week.

Goal Of The Week: Will's superb finish, he has a habit of scoring spectacular goals and this was up there with his best.

Player Of The Week: Loads of good performances this week. Carbs returned and proved that he still oozes class. Kev played as well as I ever seen him play and got 2 great goals, Will was excellent, Ed is now consistently one of the best players on the pitch. Sam played out of his skin, for both teams and his defending was brilliant. Roy defended heroically for Carbs' team. He seemed to be everywhere, putting in challenges and blocking shots. Also, as mentioned above, some of his passing was awesome. So, POTW so nearly went to Roy, but that would be ignoring the man in the SUFC kit. Phil started the game by bossing Carbs' team from his own half, they just could not get passed him. Everytime the ball came into his half he mopped it up, beat a player or two and then laid the ball off for a team mate. Quality. After a brief stint in goal which included a great save, he played the rest of the game up front and Tom and Roy just could not deal with him. Getting a fully deserved hat-trick was only half the story, Phil was involved in most of his teams goals and also ensured that his team kept their shape. Some people liken him to "Indiana Jones meets Mr Bronson in a football kit", some say he taught Carol Vorderman all she knows and others still say he's the lovechild of Jimmy Cranky and Lembut Opik, all I know is that is the best performance in that kit that you're going to see anywhere all season. Well done Phil.

Match Report: Wednesday 24th November

Sean's Team: 6
Jason's Team: 2

It was a glorious winters evening and an exceptionally tight match was played out between two evenly matched sides - until the last 5 minutes that is!

It was a game where the songwords from England's Italia 90 World Cup Song 'World in Motion' took on extra meaning. Do you remember John Barnes rapping ''There's only one way to beat them - get round the back?'' Well, this was game where no-one managed this - the midfielders on both teams passed well but defenders were solid and rarely forced to turn to face their own goal. They were in control!

Sean's team started well and sneaked an early goal. Their midfield was driven by James, Buncey and Rich Townend with Sean and Andy Towney providing outlets on either wing. After the early goal though the floodgates didn't open and the game became a cat and mouse stalemate. Fletcher's midfield came more into it with Mike, Ed and John playing some delightful triangles in the midfield. Their slower start was perhaps due to John finding his range after coming out of retirement 6 years ago ( although he's still only 22 ) and Mike reaching the age where it just takes him a little longer to get going.

But for a long period defenders stayed on top and in control. It would need something special to break this deadlock - and Fletcher provided it! After a good move down the right side a miss-hit shot by Jonny fell to Fletcher who finished cooly at the far past. 1-1.

But still the cat and mouse continued with midfielders working hard but not able to turn the defences and make clear chances. Finally, a low driven cross shot resulted in Andy Towney pouncing at the far post for Sean's team to take the lead again.

Skill of the week: A most wonderful piece of skill was witnessed by all as Roy, who appeared to be hemmed in by his own corner flag with nowhere to go by Buncey, turned and then nutmeged him. The look on Buncey's face was one of wanting the ground to open up before him. Buncey couldn't make it to the bar afterwards as he had a taxi waiting for him! Great skill Roy!

Good Attitude of the Week goes to Rich Townend and Mike who despite being on opposite teams managed to find time to compare their respective sermons for this Sunday - I bet that's not what Lee Bowyer and Joey Barton chat about in their midfield clashes!!

Another break from Fletcher's team gave Jonny a tap in equaliser and it was back to all square stalemate again.

With 5 minutes to go it looked as though 2-2 would be the final score but then Sean's team lost a couple of players - without even realising it! ( That doesn't happen in the Champions League ) Sean's team made the most of the overlap created and got a goal up. Fletcher's team then panicked as there was little time left for an equaliser; they pushed further forward leaving even bigger holes in the defence than there already were due to players leaving early. It was carnage and 6-2 was the final score - although Fletcher's team would like to claim a third goal as consolation but I'm not sure it counts when the goalkeeper and defender are taking their bibs off and are already halfway to the bar!

Afterwards the bar was indeed the place to be and several stayed for a drink and also voted for Goal of the Week and Player of the Week.

Player of the Week

Ed and James were voted jointly on this but in the end it was given to James after a final group discussion. He dominated the midfield like a colossus mixing skill, stength and speed in a midfield masterclass reminiscent of Gazza in the 90-91 season. Well done James!

Goal of the Week.

The clear winner was Jason Fletcher's goal. It was a good team passing move and although the final cross was a mis-hit shot by Jonny and the finish was a simple one from close range it was the way Jason had powered from one end of the pitch to the other to get himself in that position that impressed the voters. A year ago Jason would have had to have a sit down on the half way line to complete a run like that but not any more - so the GOTW goes to the lean, mean, footballing machine that is Fletcher!

There will be BIG prizes at the end of the season for Player of the Season and Goal of the Season. Prizes will be dependent on amount of cash in the kitty - at the moment 's looking like a night out with the Church brothers for the winner ( and 2 nights out with the Church brothers for the runner up )

Don't miss your chance to come to the bar and vote at the end of the game next week!!

Match Report by Jonny W

Match Report: Wednesday 1st September

Woody's Team 2
Phil's Team 5

Woody's Team: Woody, Matt, Jonny, Ed, Chris, Shaun, Jason, Andy T, Barry
Phil's Team: Phil, Carbs, Churchy, Kev, Tom W, Rich, Jonni

It may have only been the first day of September but the nights are definitely drawing in and I had to contemplate cycling to football with my lights on (decided against it, it runs the batteries down). It was a good turnout and it was great to see Woody and Carbs both return after long absences and Phil came down (despite his wife stealing his car) after a break of a few weeks. Still a lot of regulars missing and I'm starting to wonder if it's something I said?

The game kicked off and Woody started strongly - moaning that is! "Why do you do kick-ins? They're for girls! Why have you changed the price? That's daft! Why did you pick these teams? They're rubbish! Where is everyone who used to come? Why is Oaklands called Energise?" (to be fair, he had some valid points). All I could think to say was "Why are you wearing the smallest pair of shorts ever seen on a football pitch?" (scary sight). It was great to have him back though and was amusing watching the lads who'd never played with him before react to him "coaching" them throughout the game.

In reality it was Phil's team that started the stronger and the combination of the Church brothers, Jonni and Carbs was proving difficult for Woody's team to deal with and Jonni opened the scoring with a great finish past Jason. Phil's team were so on top that Phil was able to amble around in defence mopping up the occasional attack and simply encouraging his team. At this point Matt swapped teams and it wasn't long before he had a big impact... unfortunately it was giving away a penalty by performing the stupidest of handballs. Having run back to try and defend Matt saved a shot with his hand, even though the shot was going about 5 foot over the bar. Carbs dispatched the penalty with the ruthless efficiency of a Russian assassin and it was 2-0.

Desperate to make up for his stupidity Matt went upfront and after a nice ball from Woody, Matt produced an excellent turn which beat two defenders, some nice close control and a quick run and he was in the box looking odds on to score a great goal. However, Phil, in goal, had other ideas and drawing on all his powers as a mathematician rushed out at lightening speed and narrowed all the angles (Phil would say "Applied Riemannian geometry in a non-Euclidean metric to ascertain the most likely point of angular separation in a three-dimensional plane as a body of obese mass approached, using impulse momentum theorem." - he's blast at parties), Matt tried to slip the ball past him, but Phil made a great save and the score remained 2-0. That is the power of maths!

Carbs and Churchy were on fire and Churchy was bombing forward at every opportunity with Carbs making some excellent runs and displaying some exquisite control. At one point Phil hit a long ball towards Carbs and immediately went "ahrrgh, sorry Carbs" thinking he'd miss hit the pass but Carbs used his Peter Crouch style legs to effortlessly pluck the ball out of the air and he made the pass look excellent. A great ball through the middle from Churchy found Carbs and he ran at Matt twisting and turning and then unleashed an unstoppable shot into the bottom corner - a quality finished and 3-0.

Woody's team had been attacking and creating chances but they just couldn't seem to finish. Kev, Phil and Churchy all made good saves, then Matt skinned Phil with a nice run but his shot was poor and Jonni saved with his feet. Woody sent in a peach of a ball for Matt who got his head to the ball but, again, Jonni saved. A lovely run from Jonny and a nice pass set Jason up but his shot hit the post. Woody showed some amazing footwork to beat two players and create space for a shot, but his shot was too high. Someone (Chris I think) hit a great shot which beat the keeper but Jonni was on the line and cleared (the ball hit the bar but stayed out). Shaun and Ed both had half chances but it looked like Woody's team would never score. Phil, Kev and Rich were playing really well in defence and Tom W was tackling anything that moved. To make matters worse another good move and quick break from Phil's team led to Carbs grabbing his hat-trick and it was 4-0.

Then the goal finally came, Woody picked the ball up deep and a nice passing move ended with a great ball out to Andy T on the left wing and Andy ran onto the ball and smashed it into the roof of the net - a really nice goal and fully deserved.

Phil's team were showing no mercy though and were chasing more goals. Jonny had to make about 5 great saves in a row and then when Chris went in goal he saved well from Carbs (a great long range curler) and from Kev (Kev was unlucky after winning the ball in defence and starting the move, he got on the end of a great passing move and only a great save stopped him getting the goal he deserved). Then a beautiful pass from Churchy split the defence and found Phil who let fly with a brilliant long range volley which dipped into the top corner. Great goal and 4-1.

Matt went in for a ball in the corner and ended up twisting his ankle. A girly screech rang out around Oaklands and Matt crawled off the pitch like Dale Winton if he'd been punched by Frank Bruno. An ice pack was ordered and an accident form duly filled out... Matt is such a drama queen!

Anyway, while Matt was off the pitch, Chris pulled a goal back to make it 5-2 and Phil would like it noted that he could have "taken out" Jonny but decided to play fairly. News just in is that Phil had to go to hospital to have his toe checked out after fulfilling every St Paul's footballer's dreams... kicking Jonny.

So, that was that, time was called on a thoroughly engrossing and great game of football.

Goal Of The Week: Carbs scored a really nice goal as did Andy, but Phil's volley was inch perfect and struck with a lot of skill, also the pass from Churchy was sublime. Great goal Phil.

Player of the Week: Some top class performances this week. Woody was brilliant and has lost none of his skill or enthusiasm. Tom W had an exceptional debut and looks like he's a great player. Kev Church was awesome again (he's having a great season), Rich Church was brilliant, Ed just gets better and better (still needs a haircut though), Phil had a storming return, some great saves and a fabulous goal. Jonni and Rich were great in defence. Jonny W was so close to POTW, he had a great game, he still has his trademark silky runs but now releases the ball a bit earlier and causes the opposition some real headaches, add to that his great spell in goal and the fact he put in a great shift in defence and you have a POTW performance. If it hadn't been for Carbs. What a return! His hat-trick was good but only tells a fraction of the story. His control was perfect and his runs mesmerizing. He said he was playing for his place in the 11-a-side, well, it can hardly be in doubt after a magnificent performance. Like a cross between Rooney, Matt Le Tissier and Stretch Armstrong Carbs spent 60 minutes terrorising Woody's team and deserved his hat-trick and also his POTW, at times he made Dimitar Berbatov look like a clumsy cartoon clown that can't hit barn door. Well done Carbs, great game.

Match Report: Wednesday 25th August

Churchy's Team: 5
Tom's Team: 9

Churchy's Team: Churchy, Shaun, Rich, Chris, Little Dave, Big Dave, Kev, Sam, Barry
Tom's Team: Tom, Rich, Matt, Brett, Jason, Jonny, Jonni, Ed, Paul

Ideal conditions for a game of football and it was good to see Big Dave and Paul return after long absences, the Church brothers and Brett also returned. It was Rich Church's birthday and he turned up with a nice new football and a dreadful liverpool shirt - seriously bad dress sense from an otherwise thoroughly decent chap. Anyway, game on...

The game started with Churchy's Team on the attack and although Brett and Tom dealt with most things comfortably Tom's team couldn't seem to keep the ball upfront or get any kind of attack going which meant each time the ball was cleared it just came straight back. It wasn't long before a nice move from Churchy and Little Dave led to Shaun being played in and he made no mistake firing past Matt in goal. Matt got a hand to it and really should have done better.

Fortunately for Tom's team, Ed and Jonny turned up and joined their team (Big Dave and Sam also turned up and joined Churchy's Team). Jonny W needed a few minutes to warm up and ran around a bit like this man (although when he got going he played more like this man (that is about the speed he runs nowadays too)).

A change of keepers saw Tom replace Matt in goal but his first job was to pick the ball out of the net after Churchy had marked his birthday with a nice run and a quality shot low into the far corner that left Tom rooted to the spot looking like a waxwork Buzz Lightyear in a football kit. Nice goal and 2-0.

Tom's team started to get back into the game with Jonni and Jonny providing some width on the left and Ed causing all sorts of problems for Sam and Kev in defence. Brett was playing some beautiful passes from the back and spreading the play brilliantly. It wasn't long before Ed got in a pulled a couple of goals back, on another occasion, he did well to keep a ball in on the left, beat a defender, then his hat flew off his head and he caught it in his hand whilst beating a second man, but ultimately his shot hit the side netting. Ed needs to get a hat that stays on... or have a haircut, but there's no telling teenagers is there?

The game settled into the normal St Paul's pattern of both teams going for goals and counter-attacking at every opportunity. Jonny W was enjoying the challenge of running with the ball with space scarce and he made a number of goalscoring chances for his team. Tom also played some nice balls into the box and Matt had a couple of headers that were OK but didn't really trouble the keeper. Matt and Ed both blasted the ball over the fence and had long jogs round the fence to get the ball back.

Then Churchy lost the ball in defence after a challenge (Rich claimed foul) by Jason and Ed was on hand to slot the ball home, he doesn't miss those. A ludicrous handball from Jason (he was in goal and ran out, miles out of his area and just picked the ball up) led to a free kick which Shaun cleverly took quickly and played the ball in to Barry but his shot flew wide.

Then a great goal from Churchy, collecting the ball about 25 yards out on the left wing, he looked up and hit a volley with the outside of his boot that flew past Jason in goal. Spectacular. Paul, who was have a good game on his return, ventured up front and the ball fell to him after Churchy had challenged Matt, Paul hit an exquisite first time shot that arched into the far corner. Brilliant.

Little Dave was also having a great game and one of his runs seemed to have paid off when he got some space in the area and his shot beat Jonni in goal. However, Matt had run back and got a foot to the ball on the line, it flew up onto the bar, bounced down, hit Jonni and bounced over. Close! There was a bit of mumbling about goal line technology, but claiming that had crossed the line would be akin to claiming Simon Bissett is teetotal.

There were some tasty challenges. Some nice quick foot work from Big Dave saw him skin Jason, although, just when he looked to have made some space for himself, Jason floored him and Dave went down like a stack of giant jenga bricks. Free kick! Matt nearly took Kev's head off with a foot so high it could have joined Pink Floyd and Brett put in a number of solid, but fair, tackles all over the pitch.

Sam hit the bar from a nice flicked header, the Jason made a great save, so did Paul and Kev made a good save from Jason after Matt pinched ball from Churchy and played the ball across the box - the scoreline could certainly have been higher. Big Dave grabbed a nice goal from distance, hitting the ball hard and low past Paul in goal.

Tom's team started to pull away a bit though. Ed was in a ruthless mood and scored a peach of a goal past Kev, curling the ball low into the far corner after a nice turn. That made it four goals for Ed. Then Jonni broke down the right, cut inside and buried the ball into the back of the net. Matt even got on the score sheet after a nice through ball found him one-on-one with the keeper and he hit it through the keeper's legs. Despite Little Dave pulling one back there was no catching Tom's team and, fittingly, the final word was left to Tom who finished off a good win with a nice goal on the turn. so 9-5 and time was called. A good game that could have had a lot more goals in it, well played lads.

Goal Of The Week: Both of Churchy's goals were great and Ed's fourth was fantastic but Paul's first time finish was sublime and wins GOTW this week. Paul had a great game after a long absence and fully deserved his goal, well done Paul.

Player Of The Week: Brett and Tom were both outstanding again, as was Little Dave. Kev Church had yet another solid game, Jonny W was great and Ed scored 4 goals and managed to keep his hat on for most of the game. Still, you have to say that Churchy was awesome yet again! Rumours before the game suggested that it was his 32nd birthday, but in a slight of hand typical of a Nigerian footballer, Churchy claims to be a mere 23 years old. He spent most of the game out on the left wing and put in some very dangerous crosses that had the opposition defence at full stretch, always involved in the attacks Churchy linked up brilliantly with both Daves and also went on some nice runs himself. He also got back to help in defence and, once again, proved what an excellent tackler he is. You can always rely on Churchy to put in a good shift, but he topped off a great performance with two wonderful goals. Looking like a cross between Magnum PI and Harry Enfield's scousers with the skills of Paul Scholes and Joe Cole genetically spliced into his own already considerable skills Churchy bossed the game and put in a performance that fully deserved the POTW. Well done Rich and Happy Birthday!

Match Report: Wednesday 11th August

Dave's Team: 6

Sam's Team: 6

Dave's Team: Dave, Phil, Andy, Jonni, Kev, Roy

Sam's Team: Sam, Matt, Simon J, Rich, Churchy, Jason

As a few of us gathered in the foyer of Engergise, with the "new look" England team playing on the TV it appeared that we'd be playing 4-a-side and would have to ask for the pitch to be made smaller. With a few lads away on camp, Simon B up to his eyeballs in beer in Kent, Brett missing (presumably fighting crime), Buncey AWOL and Tom on a beach somewhere playing vollyball (think Top Gun) we were, once again, desperate for players.

The returning Phil picked the teams and then the Church brothers turned up to make it 5-a-side, followed shortly by Andy and Jason, so, we had 6-a-side and the prospect of an energy sapping game exploiting the space on the pitch. You can see by the score line how well the teams were picked.

The game turned out to be a fantastic contest played at a blistering pace with both teams starting strongly. For Sam's team Simon J and Churchy passing and running with the ball, with Jason upfront finding space and Sam in midfield supporting from deep. Dave's team countered this with strong defending from Jonni and Roy and Phil's box-to-box powerful runs and Dave's tricky play. Kev seemed to be popping up everywhere and Andy was a real danger from the left wing. Rich had to be strong in defence for Sam's team as Kev and Phil fashioned a few early half chances and Kev found himself wide right on a few occasions but fortunately for Sam's team the final ball was not quite there.

So, the game settled into attack-counterattack-attack mode with some fast breaks from defence and last ditch tackles. One such break found Phil running at Matt as the last defender, with Dave to his right Phil tried to slip the ball through but he put it too close to Matt's chubby leg and the pass was just cut out. Phil went mental at himself, but there was no time for that as Sam's team were suddenly the ones with the opposition's defence at full stretch.

Churchy opened the scoring with a nice finished past Jonni as the keeper ran out to block. That was one of the problems with only having 6 players - the goalkeepers were often left exposed. 1-0 was soon 2-0 when after winning a corner, Churchy played a lovely ball in along the ground and a great run from Simon left him with an easy tap in. Then Matt found himself free in the area, turned and shot but Kev made an outstanding diving save.

The 2-0 lead did not last long as Phil got a bit of space just outside the area and despite Matt attempting to close him down (which to Phil, must have felt like this) he fired in an excellent shot that flew into the bottom corner. A brilliant finish.

Phil then produced the save of the game. Simon J was played in on the left wing by Matt, but Phil charged out of his area and Simon attempted to lift the ball over him. It was a nice bit of skill but Phil (who was now outside his area) jumped up and performed a most blatant handball. Simon took the free kick quickly as Churchy had made a good run to the back post and the pass was inch perfect. Churchy hit the ball hard and low from a couple of yards out, but somehow Phil dived and kept it out. Fantastic save.

The chances and goals came think and fast and it's all a bit of a blur, but included:

• A lovely goal from Sam's team: Churchy had done well on the right wing, beating a couple of players and after shrugging off the close attention from Phil, he played a peach of a ball into the box. Simon J made a great run across the box and produced a sublime dummy which fooled everyone and the ball ran to the back post where Jason was waiting and blasted in from close range.

• A goal from Roy where he chipped the ball beautifully over the keeper.


• A Tap in from Churchy followed by him grabbing a hat-trick with a wonderful volley into the top corner


• A cool finish from Dave after a corner had been cleared, but then struck Rich on the knee sending the ball back into the box and Dave controlled well and slipped the ball past Matt's dive.


• A rare goal from Matt! He picked the ball up deep in his own half and ran at Phil who was the last defender. Simon J and Jason were available on each wing, but Matt continued to run at Phil who continued to back off, then a drop of the shoulder and a left foot shot from distance from Matt led to the ball arrowing into the goal leaving the keeper rooted to the spot. It's rare to see Matt score from more that two yards!

So, it was 6-5 to Sam's team and time was running out. It looked like they would earn the win in a closely fought contest. Enter Phil McBride. He picked the ball up in the middle and ran at the defence beating about three players and letting fly with a brilliant shot. However, the ball cannoned off the foot of the post and rebounded out to a defender. The clearance should have been easy but Phil threw himself at the ball and deflected it to Roy who was waiting at the back post for the simplest of tap ins. 6-6.

Both teams went for the win but the chances dried up and "time" was called on a great game with a draw being a fair outcome. Great game lads.

Goal Of The Week: Roy's tap in, Phil run beat 3 players, hit the post, blocked the clearance and then the ball found it's way to Roy who tapped in at back post. This goal was made by Phil's relentless, bottled up anger which was threatening to burst forth like a nuclear bomb exploding in a filing cabinet. I haven't seen anger like that since Simon B last played. Classic St Paul's football.

Player Of The Week: Simon J was head and shoulders above the rest of us - pure quality. That said, no one had a bad game and there were good performances from Jonni, Roy, The Church Brothers and Phil in particular. In fact, despite his frustration Phil was very close to giving a POTW performance, it's just that Simon was so good. Like an updated, modern take on the Milky Bar Kid, Simon stands out with his skillful runs and excellent passing. He led his team brilliantly and his dummy that set up Jason's goal was awesome. One of the performances of the season. Well done Simon.

Match Report: Wednesday 4th August

Brett's Team: 4 or 5
Jonni's Team: 2

Brett's Team: Brett, Churchy, Rich, Little Dave, Shaun, Jason, Barry, Ed
Jonni's Team: Jonni, Matt, Kev, Big Dave, Tuvvy, Roy, Sam, Andy T

A good evening for a game of football, although an earlier downpour had left the pitch slightly slippery and a few players lost their footing during the game. Fortunately, apart from a tiny graze on Roy's arm there were no injuries. Speaking of injuries, I was saddened earlier in the day by a Tweet from Kerron that said: "The chances of me ever playing football again are remote. Even hobbling makes my ankle swell to the size of a grapefruit!" I thought that that was a real shame, until I ran his message through the Enigma machine and it read: "Wife watching! Can't wait to get back but proceeding with caution. Milking injury while I can. Wife smells a rat. Back soon. Mum's the word. Over". So that was better news.

Tuvvy, Big Dave, Roy, Kev and Ed all returned and there was a debut for Barry and a new haircut for Jonni.

So, on to the game, Matt picked the teams and Shaun picked the ends (so that Jonni's team were facing the sun) and we kicked off with Matt and Brett in goal. Tuvvy and Big Dave were extremely fired up and started the game at full throttle attacking Brett's team with support from Roy and Andy on the wings. Rich, Little Dave and Churchy looked pretty comfortable in defence though and there were no real chances early on. Rich chopped down Andy (I think) and Big Dave took the direct free kick and (egged on by Matt in goal) had a shot, but the ball was high and wide.

Keeper change and almost immediately Matt nearly opened the scoring - a great cross from Tuvvy found him at the back post and Matt tried to direct his header in to the far corner, the keeper looked beaten but the ball went wide. It was one of those games where the defences were on top, Brett and both Riches and Sam and Jonni all mopping up any attacks that came their way. A great run from Jonni had Brett's team on the back foot and he slipped the ball to Matt whose shot cannoned off the post and went wide (Little Dave claimed he had it covered though). At the other end, Churchy was looking lively and turned Matt brilliantly and let fly with a great shot that seemed destined for the far corner but Kev got in a great block and the ball went out for a throw. Little Dave and Barry were playing well and showing some nice skills, Dave in particular was enjoying running at the defence, but clear cut chances were rare. Ed had a couple of sniffs at goal, but seemed to be having a battle to keep his hat on which was taking priority over the footy. Big Dave, Tuvvy and Roy were driving forward but the game was getting a bit scrappy in the middle and both teams seemed reluctant to keep the ball on the floor.

Then the breakthrough, a peach of a ball from Brett over the defence and Little Dave made a great run. Tuvvy, in goal, neglected to come out and catch the ball, instead deciding to wait for the ball to come to him to kick, but Dave nipped in a touched the ball past him. It was a good goal though and Tuvvy made amends a short time later pulling off a fantastic reflex save from a powerful shot.

Jonni's team were throwing all their efforts into getting an equaliser and leaving Sam and Jonni more and more exposed in defence. Kev was looking busy and was involved in most of the attacks, I was convinced he'd scored when the ball broke to him in the area and a lovely flick beat Rich in goal, but Rich somehow managed to reach back and pluck the ball out of the air - a great save. Matt went on a run and after beating a couple of players and faced a back pedalling Brett, Roy ran past on the overlap and screamed at Matt for the ball. Matt shot. The ball flew high and wide and Roy went mental - like a three year old who had just been told to turn off Toy Story because it was bedtime. I honestly thought he was either going to punch Matt or have some kind of cerebral aneurysm. It was like watching that Angry German Kid on YouTube, but directed by Tarantino. Matt was so scared he did a little sick in his mouth.

Andy had been playing well on the left wing and he had a nice run, beat the defender, but the angle was too tight and his shot hit the side netting. Then it was Sam's turn to go close. After a scramble in the area Sam won the ball and struck a lovely dipping shot which had the keeper well beaten but the ball went inches wide - so close! Would this goal ever come?

Committing most of their players to go in search of an equaliser had left Jonni's team pretty stretched at the back and with Shaun, Jason and Ed all lurking up front and Churchy and Little Dave relishing the chance to break quickly the chances did come and it was soon 2-0, then 3-0, with Dave grabbing another and I think Barry scored on his debut.

Then the goal that Jonni's team deserved finally came. After a good corner from Tuvvy the ball pinballed around in the area before falling to Kev who hit an unstoppable shot into the top corner. A goal Kev deserved after his hard work. However, a quick break from Brett's team found Ed who, having sort out all his hat woes, controlled the ball nicely and finished brilliantly from distance. A nice finish. Shortly afterwards Little Dave completed his hat-trick and somehow Jonni's team found themselves on the end of a thrashing.

Matt went on another run and, again, found Brett in his path. Having learnt from (and been mentally scarred by) his mistake last time, he knocked the ball through to Roy, who hit it first time and slotted the ball into the bottom corner. There's a lesson in there somewhere. Roy suddenly burst into song and started singing Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" - a noble stance but Brett ensured that there was no way Jonni's team would score again by letting absolutely nothing by him for the rest of the game. That song reminded me of the final scene in the Sopranos where Tony gets murdered, at least, I think he did, or did he? Yeah, he definitely did, well, probably.

There was still time for Kev to produce an outstanding goal line clearance from Little Dave, but Jonni's team had run out of time. At the end Jonny W turned up in his dad jeans, the ball rolled to him and he nearly tripped over it, declaring happily "I've still got it". He has, I'm just not sure exactly what "it" is.

Goal Of The Week: Kev Church's goal was nice as was Roy's, but Ed's finish was excellent and he wins this week's GOTW. Well done Ed.

Player Of The Week: Not that many outstanding performances this week. For Jonni's team, Jonni stood out, he had a great game in defence and was involved in most of the attacks too and never gave up. Kev also played really well. For Brett's team, Churchy and Little Dave were both great. Churchy is still one of our best tacklers and he can also run with the ball and was unlucky with a couple of shots. Can't really separate the Church brothers this week, but Kev did score. Little Dave was full of energy and it is a nightmare to get the ball off him. Some of his runs were sublime and you can't really argue with a hat-trick. However, once again, Brett put in an outstanding performance in defence. He was just impossible to get past for the whole game. He cut out any long balls and won the ball every time he went in for it. He's so fast and strong in the tackle that when he takes the ball off you it like being hit by a drag racing monster truck. His pass to Dave for the opening goal was superb and even when his team fashioned a decent lead he kept his discipline and stayed back in defence to ensure Jonni's team had no way back. He looks like Michael Keaton as batman to me, but probably prefers the blue & white of Sheffield Wednesday to the batsuit, he's probably quicker than Batman too. Like a more ruthless and less grumpy version of his drinking buddy (Phil McBride), Brett leads his team well and shows no mercy to the oppositions attackers. A great game Brett, well done.

Match Report: Wednesday 28th July

Tom's Team 3
Brett's Team 5

Tom's Team: Tom, Jason, Dave, Andy, Steve G, Simon J, Jonni
Brett's Team: Brett, Matt, Churchy, Rich, Sam, Shaun, Steve J

After a week of stressing that we wouldn't have enough players for a game due to holidays we actually ended up with quite a healthy 7-a-side. There was a debut for Dave's mate Andy and Simon J, Tom and Steve G all returned. The missing list read: Phil, Simon B, Will G, Tuvvy, Kev, Dave C, Paul, Jonny, Ed, Andy T, Buncey and Roy (yes, and STILL Kerron) which is a half decent team! Anyway, after arriving a little earlier than normal, paying and joining Jonni, Shaun and Jason to wait the foyer was suddenly full of hundreds of young ladies after some kind of "leg, bums and tums" festival. I can see why those three get there so early now! Brett turned up with a brand new ball, which turned out to be pretty good.

Enough waffle, on to the game...

Jason and Matt started in goal for their respective teams and Tom's team were straight into attack, catching Brett's team napping and disorganised in defence. Matt made a couple of early saves and Tom's team won a number of corners that, as normal, came to nothing. It wasn't long before Dave, who was looking lively, found some space in the area and after exchanging passes with Simon, fired the ball low past Matt and it was 1-0. Brett was doing a good job of getting his team to wake up and look a bit more organised at the back and he started a couple of attacks that ultimately led to nothing, but the signs were there. Simon J, Steve G, Andy and Jonni were linking well on the right and with Dave running everywhere and Tom plugging the holes at the back the signs were ominous for Brett's team. Sure enough, Jonni broke through on the right and slotted a nice goal past Matt into the far corner. After a couple of nice saves early on Matt had let in two goals in quick succession and it was time for a keeper change.

Brett's Team started to hit back and they crafted a few good chances for Shaun in quick succession. Firstly, Matt crossed in from the right and Shaun got a head to the ball that looped over Tom but didn't dip enough and went over, to be fair to Tom, I think he had it covered. Then after Churchy and Steve J had linked well, Shaun turned well in the area but couldn't keep his shot down and the ball flew over. Finally, after another attack, the ball feel to Shaun who smashed it past Tom but the ball hit the bar and was cleared. The signs were there though.

With both teams going for it, the game opened up a bit, although, it was played in a strangely subdued atmosphere, with hardly any talking between the players... it was eerily like playing in a morgue. I guess all the loud mouths (i.e. teachers) are on holiday. Rich and Sam looked solid at the back for Brett's team and Tom and Jonni had looked comfortably in control for Tom's team, but the chances did come. Brett crossed in a lovely corner which found Churchy at the back post and his header beat the keeper but went wide of the far post. Dave and Simon were a real handful and Steve G and Jonni were linking well and Sam had to make a couple of good saves.

Finally a break though: Matt played the ball into Churchy who was in the middle and Steve made a great run on the right wing, Churchy looked to have slightly over hit the pass but Steve reached it and pulled the ball back leaving Matt with the simplest of tap ins (although we have seen him miss them in the past!) to make it 2-1.

Then Shaun found his scoring boots. Having had a few half chances and a couple of chances he will think he should have done better with, Shaun suddenly ripped Tom's team apart with a quick-fire hat-trick. Three quality finishes after great work from Churchy, Brett and Steve J - Brett's team led 4-2 and Tom's team's 2-0 advantage was a distant memory. More goals looked on the cards, with Steve J hitting the post and Churchy heading over from a great corner taken by Steve. Matt also had a chance, but could not keep his shot down and the ball ballooned over the bar. To add insult to injury Brett was better placed and screaming for a pass. Matt then he tried one of his overhead kicks and the ball went miles wide and he just looked daft, like a blubbery walrus in a tumble dryer.

Tom's team were still attacking well though and Steve Gagg got a third, slotting the ball beautifully past Churchy to put them back in the game. Jonni set Jason up a few times with some great crosses from the right wing but he couldn't force the ball home. Matt then started messing around with the ball in defence and Steve Gagg nicked it off him and ran through. However, Steve scuffed his shot, seemingly kicking the floor rather than the ball and the ball went harmlessly wide. A great chance wasted and Steve looked disgusted, like a man who's just got home from the tattooist, looked in the mirror and discovered he's had Ann Widdecombe drawn on his buttock instead of the Tottenham cockerel that he asked for. Churchy also made a great save from Jonni, tipping the ball wide from a fierce shot.

Poor old Dave then blocked a through ball with, erm, his most delicate area. As he slowly sank to his knees, grimacing in pain, small beads of sweat appeared on his brow, the light in his eyes started to fade and a strange garbled noise escaped from his mouth. An exact replica of Phil McBride after half a cider.

Matt replaced Churchy in goal and immediately was forced into a save, tipping Dave's low shot onto the post at full stretch (so close!). Tom then turned brilliantly on the right to get a bit of space but his shot was a nice height for Matt who turned it away. Shortly afterwards Andy was played in but Matt ran out and the shot hit him and went out for a corner. Steve Gagg beat Matt with a fantastic shot, but it clipped Rich and hit the bar and went over. It was an important period of the game because, not long afterwards Steve J added a 5th for Brett's team and they had the game sown up. There was just enough time for Churchy to dazzle us all with a outstanding turn past Jonni which left the defender rooted to the spot blinking in confusion and then "time" was called and that was that. So, 8 goals this week and the spectre of last week's 0-0 well and truly vanquished. Good game lads.

Goal Of The Week: Shaun's hat trick was great, but Jonni's finish past Matt was absolutely sublime and gave the keeper no chance. Great goal Jonni.

Player Of The Week: A few contenders this week. Shaun scored a hat-trick and ran for every ball, causing Tom's defence problems all game. Steve J and Simon J showed their normal brilliant skill and work-rate. Brett, Rich, Tom and Sam were all outstanding in defence and Steve G and Jonni both had excellent games. This week though was a real return to form for Rich Church. He has been playing a lot better for the last few games and this time round he was the difference between the two teams. A fantastic tackler with a great football brain, Rich had spells in midfield and out wide. He was involved in most of his team's goals and was unlucky with his two headers. Looking like a young Bob Carolgees in a football kit Rich bossed the game and once again laid claim to be the Church Household's best player award. We'll see how Kev responds next week. Great game Rich!

Match Report: Wednesday 21st July

Ed's Bibs: 0
Woody's Colours: 0

Bibs – Matt, Simon, Sam, Dave, Jonny, Ed, Roy, Buncey
Colours – Woody, Brett, Phil, Rich C, Kev, Rich, Shaun, Jason, Towney

If a week is a long time in politics, 4 days was an eternity in St Pauls football…and this game came right from the deepest darkest corner of eternity. If it had been a boxing match it would’ve been called “The fight where no punch was landed”; in golfing terms we’d still be on the first having either failed to hit the ball or lost it or buried it in a bunker…you get the point: it was like a new born baby – toothless.

After the heroic defeat on Saturday, a number of that squad turned up to demonstrate the skills and effort they had put into the game; a large number of players were missing, Will, Big Dave, Tuvvy, Steves Sav Gagg and J, not to mention the Morrisons crew of Gavin, Jason et al. Brett picked sides, and off we went. Phil was fired-up and looking for blood as Matt had dared to take the mickey out of his beloved Sheffield Utd's sacred song about chip butties. [I won't be doing that again! - Matt]

It was Dave and Ed who began the brightest for bibs, setting up most of their attacking moves. Freed from right back, Jonny pushed forward, and freed from left back, Roy pushed up front. Brett, new Rich, Kev and Phil defended well and managed to mop up most of the danger, but the outlet passes just weren’t happening for colours and the ball kept coming back at them. I would like to say that Woody pulled off save after save in net but to be honest, he never got a sniff.

Then a controversial moment in the opening exchanges. Matt Young picked the ball up 15 yards out and ghosted past Phil. His acceleration took him clear but suddenly he stopped and fell to the ground like a Spanish midfielder including with the three point roll and gesture. The cause may have been Phil’s reaction of grabbing a small amount of Matt’s bib (and shirt, training top and pound of flesh). Bibs were up in arms – a clear goal scoring chance denied. Strangely, non-one called for Phil to be sent off for 5 minutes and the game continued with a free kick.

Simon quickly called keeper change and keen to score the opener, he pushed onto the front line to exact revenge. All this actually did was free up space in his own defence and encouraged by Woody’s calls of “This is rubbish” and “No-one’s moving – why aren’t you helping each other out?” the colours began to mount attacks. Yet, no goal was forthcoming. In boredom Phil smashed the ball into Acomb and had to set off to get it. While he was gone, there were no chances. In fact, chances were so few and far between that Woody had taken to sitting in the penalty area to yell abuse at his players. His lack of movement out of goal (because he has a poorwy ankle) meant his team were getting tired, whilst the bibs rotation policy of “Next” as soon as a keeper had arrived, was keeping them fresh.
Dave had a good curling shot saved by Woody
.
Darkness began to fall...the floodlights had no intention of illuminating the game – maybe they had fallen asleep watching.

Jason had an opportunity blocked well by Dave, Sam was playing well again in defence, Ed was playing a blinder, not only wide and stretching the colours but he was dispossessing any attack that Phil was trying to muster. Buncey looked like he might have found the perfect match – space, movement and planty of runners in Jonny, Dave and Simon. The only problem was that every time he got the ball and began to look dangerous one or two Churches descended on him – never a pretty sight.

Brett got bored and went up front. Then came back as he realised that no-one was left in defence.

Ed pulled off a fantastic save from a curling effort from Rich C and at that point we should’ve said – You know what guys – this is going to stay 0-0. If only we’d said that – we could’ve saved ourselves 20 mins of Woody shouting “You’re going to make history you bunch of losers” every 2 mins from his position sitting on the crossbar.
Dave then set up Simon with the move of the game – drifting past both Churches and Brett, he timed his pass to Simon past the outstretched foot of Phil, only for Woody to scamper out of his area and block (and just in case we’d forgotten his poorwy ankle, he gave a little yelp)

Dave then turned defender to block Phil when quite frankly Emile Heskey would’ve shot quicker – however, a great block and STILL 0-0.

Then the chance of the game – Towney, who had been switching wings with Rich C all evening dinked a great ball in to Phil standing on his lonesome on the back post. Only Matt Young to beat with his diving header……the world stood still….Phil sensed glory and closed his eyes……connection……only for Matt to avenge the earlier travesty of justice and prove that, just like Neville Southall, fat keepers can dive and he tipped the ball over – just like THAT save of Gordon Banks in 1970.



By now bats were flying around although a quick check of Roy’s wallet meant it was getting dark and not that he was seeing if he’s brought his match fees.

Bibs pushed forward in a seemingly suicidal bid to win it and it nearly paid off as Roy saw his effort pull across goal. However, as before this meant that they were light at the back and Sam had to pull off a great tackle to deny Shaun who up until now had been a talisman up front holding the ball and moving to allow others space. Towney tried his luck from the right, only to see his cross go all the way through without a sniff from Colours.
Woody was getting desperate in his desire for a goal and, proving that he has been faking for weeks, set off on a mazy run….only to lose the ball in centre midfield and hare it back (poowy ankle my a**e) to goal before the shot came in.

Eventually Simon and Phil called a truce (it really was that kind of night) and a 0-0 draw was agreed. The stats would make depressing reading – I think bibs had 3 shots on target, colours 4. So, history was made, the first ever 0-0 at Oaklands on a Wednesday evening, let's hope it doesn't happen again.

I will however, leave the last word to Jason who – having been shouted at by his own team mate Phil, yelled at by Woody and chastised by Matt was heard to say “I thought this was meant to be a Christian thing and people have taken it too seriously”. Too right and I for one apologise [yeah, me too, really sorry about my language! - Matt].

Goal Save of the Game: Matt’s amazing one handed reflex tip over the bar from a point blank header. Superb and lesser mortals would have got no where near it. A great save Matt – well done

Player of the week: A tough call – a game dominated by defenders again. Rich C ran and ran as did Towney who both were influential in their teams performance. Brett played solidly again and couldn’t be faulted for his positional sense and breaks from the back. Dave again broke everything up and looked to attack when he could and Sam played well again in defence for bibs. But man of the match goes to Ed. He used his brain to move from wing to wing but also held the central area when he needed to; he defended from the front and tackled men older than him on countless occasions (darn him!!). He also played some really neat simple passes. And he kept his hat on for the full 60 mins. Good work Ed – well done.

Match Report by Phil McBride

Match Report: Saturday 17th July

St Pauls 2
Acomb Gateway 3

A fine day for a game of football and St Paul's took their 3-game unbeaten run to Global (the old manor school) to face new league team, Acomb Gateway. Our first game on grass and our first game without the talismanic Woody in the centre of the field. With other names such as, Will G, Steve J, Jonny W, Dave C and Steve Sav missing St Paul's were down to the bare bones and fielded a squad of 12 (with the 12th man carrying an injury) and there were debuts for Jonni Brown and Carbs and Matt Wright returned to centre midfield for his first game since the 12-3 drubbing of York Herts.

St Paul's lost the toss and started the game kicking uphill and lined up as follows:

GK: Kev Church
LB: Jonni Brown
CB: Phil McBride (C)
CB: Matt Young
RB: Roy Gibson
LM: Rich Church
CM: Tom Haigh
CM: Matt Wright
RM: Steve Gagg
ST: Simon Bissett
ST: Andrew Carberry

with Simon playing just infront of the two centre midfielders, despite having at least 11 players unavailable, it was still a pretty strong line-up.

Gateway kicked off and imediately put the St Paul's defence under pressure. Phil barked orders and organised the team well and Tom and Matt W battled well in midfield. Tom had a minor spat with the referee and was told not to argue (despite the ref telling Tom he agreed with him and he'd made a mistake). Gateway, had bags of pace and their number 7 (who played on the left wing) was causing alot of problems for Roy and Matt Y. The number 9 was also a real handfull and Matt Y was lucky not to give away a penalty after the number 9 had got ahead of him at a corner. Matt saw the number 9 would get a head on the ball so gave him a firm nudge in the back which sent him flying under the ball and the danger was cleared. Stonewall penalty, but Matt somehow got away with it.

The onslaught continued and, despite some good defending the breakthrough came after about 15 minutes and it was a goal St Paul's will think they should not have conceded. Matt Y tried to clear but the ball rebounded off an attacker and ran through, then Roy tried to clear but again the ball hit an attacker, hit Kev, hit Roy and ran beyond Kev where the number 9 was waiting and tapped into the empty net. An avoidable goal, if Matt had just wellied it out for a throw when he had the chance. These are the moments when you realise you can't play an 11-a-side like you play at Oaklands on a Wednesday evening. If only Matt had listened to Alan Hansen all these years and played "percentages". Still, it would be hard to say Gateway didn't deserve their lead. 1-0 soon became 2-0 (I'm afraid I can't remember their second goal) and this prompted Phil to switch things around a bit. Brett came on for Roy and slotted into the centre back role, with Matt switching to right-back. However, this change only lasted for about 5 minutes as, after winning a header, Phil landed badly on his knee and was forced off. So, Matt switched back to centre back, Pretty Boy Bissett dropped to right back and Roy went to right midfield with Steve Gagg pushing into a more attacking role.

When St Paul's did put an attack together, they seemed to peter out and it really wasn't happening for them up front. This was despite the hard work that Tom, Matt W, Rich C, Carbs, Simon and Steve put in. The whole team worked hard, communication was good and the defending pretty solid with Gateway only managing a couple of half chances for the rest of the half. Simon was having a tough time marking the number 7, but a combination of good tackling, surreptitious tripping and the most blatant push in the back ever (which Simon claims never happened) meant that Simon just about had the upperhand.

Then, on about 40 minutes, Matt Wright found a bit of space and tried his luck from long range. He unleashed a great shot that had the keeper totally beaten but the ball hit the post and rebounded across the goal, Carbs had done well to follow up and got to the ball but, from a tight angle, scuffed his shot and the keeper gladly gathered the ball up.

So, the first half came to an end, Gateway led 2-0 and to be fair, the first half had been all about Gateway attacking and St Paul's defending. There was not much to say at half time. No one was playing badly, the defence looked solid, Tom and Matt were doing great in the centre. So, Phil swapped the tactics round a bit and asked the team to hit the channels more where Rich and Roy would be, he asked Carbs to hold the ball up and look for the wingers runs and there wasn't much more to say.

I think the second half we lined up as follows:

GK: Kev Church
LB: Phil McBride (C)
CB: Brett Harrison
CB: Matt Young
RB: Simon Bissett
LM: Rich Church
CM: Tom Haigh
CM: Matt Wright
RM: Roy Gibson
ST: Steve Gagg
ST: Andrew Carberry

St Paul's played much better in the second half and were getting more joy in attack, especially down the left wing where Rich Church was giving Gateway's right-back a torrid time. Brett was outstanding in defence and nothing was getting past him and Phil. On the right side of defence Simon was winning his battle against their nippy number 7. The chances came for St Paul's: Carbs headed over after a great corner from Rich, then he had a volley from distance that wasn't far over. Jonni hit the tree, which was hilarious, but at least St Paul's were getting some shots in. Gateway were still attacking but the defence was pretty much in control.

Then St Paul's were awarded a free kick some distance out. Tom checked with the ref that it was a direct free-kcick and then, when the whistle blew, he launched an audacious free kick over the goalkeeper's head and into the bad of the net. "I'll have that" said Tom - great goal and St Paul's were back in it.

A clash of heads in the middle of the park between Matt W and Gateway's influencial number 8 led to a huge delay and both players being subbed. Gateway's player had a nasty looking cut on the back of his head. Matt W, being from Devon, just blinked a couple of times and said "Ouch, proper job, feel like i've downed a couple o jars of scrumpy, my lover..." Anyway, Phil moved into midfield and Jonni moved back to left-back.

Then disaster, just when St Paul's were thinking they would surely get an equaliser, Matt Y got sucked out of position and a poor challenge meant that their centre midfielder had the ball and the number 9 was completely unmarked. The ball was played wide to the lightning fast number 7 and he beat Simon and crossed in for the unmarked number 9 to smash the ball home. Kev had no chance. Shortly afterward, Gateway broke again and fashioned a good chance. Kev parried the powerful shot up into the air and just when it looked like it was going to drop over the line, he managed to turn and grab it - a great save. At 4-1 St Paul's would have been dead and buried.

A corner for St Paul's led to their second goal. Roy found himself free in the area and decided to gamble with a run to the near post. Jonni hit a low corner in and Roy was there to tap it past the keeper from virtually on the goal line. A good goal and St Paul's were back in the game. Rich Church continued to create chances and, Matt W (back on the pitch) and Carbs were linking well and it looked like a matter of time before St Paul's would grab an equaliser. Rich hit the bar with a cross/shot and both Carbs and Matt W had powerful shots blocked by the defence. A misplaced header from their centre back nearly caught out the keeper, but he did well to scramble back and make the save.

At the other end Gateway fashioned a good chance from a well worked move but their (now bandaged up) number 8 put the chance over when he looked certain to score.

The game ended 3-2 to Gateway, while I think they fully deserved the win, I do think that a draw would also have been a fair result after St Paul's much improved second half performance. It was a good match played in a good spirit and I wish Gateway good luck in their forthcoming league campaign.

After the game, in the subdued atmosphere of the changing rooms, Tom tried to kill us all with Legionnaire's Disease by turning on the 100 year old showers with their stagnant, disease ridden, brackish water. "It's OK" he said "I didn't put my head in!" and it was off to the Fox to drown our sorrows.

Player Ratings:

Kev Church: Always a reliable, safe pair of hands. There was nothing Kev could do about any of the goals. He made an outstanding save in the second half and his kicking was much improved in this game. We are lucky to have a natural keeper in our team and Kev, once again, proved he's easily our first choice. Rating: Gordon Banks

Jonni Brown: A good debut from Jonni who only knew he was playing on Wednesday. One of our new players he quickly settled into our Wednesday night football matches and gave a good performance at left-back. Solid and reliable in defence, he also took the corner that led to Roy's goal and can, hand-on-heart, say with a clear conscience that he was the only player to hit the tree after an effort on goal. Good game Jonni. Rating: Nigel Winterburn

Brett Harrison: Outstanding debut, especially considering he was carrying an injury. Brett came on midway through the first-half and was rock solid for the rest of the game. Absolute quality defender and Gateway never got past him. Looking forward to seeing a fully fit Brett partnering Phil in a dream centre-back pairing. Rating: Des Walker

Phil McBride: Like Brett, Phil was like a rock in defence. In the first half (before being forced off) he won everything, even producing a first class sliding tackle when it looked like on of their strikers had finally got past him. Phil claims that he's not really a captain, but that's, frankly, a load of rubbish. Like Tom, he's a natural leader that the team look to and he did a great job of captaining the side. He also knew exactly what to do to change the fortunes of the team in the second half showing he has an eye for the game too. First class performance by phil and St Paul's Man Of The Match. Well done Phil. Rating: Phil Jagielka

Matt Y: Probably Matt's best game for St Paul's. Will no doubt blame himself for the 1st and 3rd goals, but looked reasonably solid at the back and was pleased to win a couple of battles with the number 7. Was lucky not to concede a penalty early on in the first half. Rating: Carlton Palmer

Roy Gibson: tough tackling Roy was given a real test early in the first half by the lightning fast Gateway attack. Still did well though and had a great game in the second half on the wing. Scored his first goal for St Paul's and it was thoroughly deserved. Great game Roy. Rating: Ashley Cole

Rich Church: Brilliant game from Churchy. Was a contender for Man Of The Match and only missed out because Phil was so good. Rich battled well in the first half, but it was the second half when he ran the Gateway right-back ragged. He was unlucky when hit hit the bar and also when a couple of half-chances didn't quite fall for him. Top class performance. Rating: Kevin Sheedy

Tom Haigh: Great game again from Tom. He's scored in every match he's played for St Paul's, which is outstanding when you consider a) he's a right-back by trade and b) how bad his penalty was in the last match. Tom battled hard all game and played really well in the middle alongside Matt Wright. Didn't put a foot wrong all game and didn't deserve to be on the losing side. Rating: Juninho

Matt Wright: Matt is quality. He brought a bit of steel to the St Paul's midfield and had an outstanding game. Tough tackling and always looking for the ball with a nice range of passing. Matt won everything that came near him in midfield and was really unlucky with his shot that hit the post. He also had a chance in the second half that a defender did well to block. Great game Matt. Rating: Roy Keane

Steve Gagg: Genius footballer, did really well on the right in a game that didn't really suit Steve's intelligent passing game. Ran himself into the ground and ended up with cramp. Didn't put a foot wrong and should be very happy with his performance. Rating: Joe Cole

Carbs: Carbs did well, battling all of the first half but never getting the break he deserved. In the second half Carbs came alive and thrived on Phil's new tactics. Holding the ball up brilliantly and bringing Rich and Roy into play on the wings. Carbs had a few chances and was unlucky not to score. A great debut for St Paul's. Rating: Dimitar Berbatov

Simon Bissett: Simon hardly saw the ball in the fist half when he was playing just infront of Tom and Matt W such was Gateway's dominance. A switch to right-back ensured that Simon was one of the busier players for the rest of the game. When you consider just how good their number 7 was Simon did an outstanding job of defending against him. Was also influential in attack, taking a number of throw ins (and one foul throw like a netball throw!) and getting Roy moving down the right. Great game Simon. Rating: Gary Stevens