Match Report: Wednesday 28th July

Tom's Team 3
Brett's Team 5

Tom's Team: Tom, Jason, Dave, Andy, Steve G, Simon J, Jonni
Brett's Team: Brett, Matt, Churchy, Rich, Sam, Shaun, Steve J

After a week of stressing that we wouldn't have enough players for a game due to holidays we actually ended up with quite a healthy 7-a-side. There was a debut for Dave's mate Andy and Simon J, Tom and Steve G all returned. The missing list read: Phil, Simon B, Will G, Tuvvy, Kev, Dave C, Paul, Jonny, Ed, Andy T, Buncey and Roy (yes, and STILL Kerron) which is a half decent team! Anyway, after arriving a little earlier than normal, paying and joining Jonni, Shaun and Jason to wait the foyer was suddenly full of hundreds of young ladies after some kind of "leg, bums and tums" festival. I can see why those three get there so early now! Brett turned up with a brand new ball, which turned out to be pretty good.

Enough waffle, on to the game...

Jason and Matt started in goal for their respective teams and Tom's team were straight into attack, catching Brett's team napping and disorganised in defence. Matt made a couple of early saves and Tom's team won a number of corners that, as normal, came to nothing. It wasn't long before Dave, who was looking lively, found some space in the area and after exchanging passes with Simon, fired the ball low past Matt and it was 1-0. Brett was doing a good job of getting his team to wake up and look a bit more organised at the back and he started a couple of attacks that ultimately led to nothing, but the signs were there. Simon J, Steve G, Andy and Jonni were linking well on the right and with Dave running everywhere and Tom plugging the holes at the back the signs were ominous for Brett's team. Sure enough, Jonni broke through on the right and slotted a nice goal past Matt into the far corner. After a couple of nice saves early on Matt had let in two goals in quick succession and it was time for a keeper change.

Brett's Team started to hit back and they crafted a few good chances for Shaun in quick succession. Firstly, Matt crossed in from the right and Shaun got a head to the ball that looped over Tom but didn't dip enough and went over, to be fair to Tom, I think he had it covered. Then after Churchy and Steve J had linked well, Shaun turned well in the area but couldn't keep his shot down and the ball flew over. Finally, after another attack, the ball feel to Shaun who smashed it past Tom but the ball hit the bar and was cleared. The signs were there though.

With both teams going for it, the game opened up a bit, although, it was played in a strangely subdued atmosphere, with hardly any talking between the players... it was eerily like playing in a morgue. I guess all the loud mouths (i.e. teachers) are on holiday. Rich and Sam looked solid at the back for Brett's team and Tom and Jonni had looked comfortably in control for Tom's team, but the chances did come. Brett crossed in a lovely corner which found Churchy at the back post and his header beat the keeper but went wide of the far post. Dave and Simon were a real handful and Steve G and Jonni were linking well and Sam had to make a couple of good saves.

Finally a break though: Matt played the ball into Churchy who was in the middle and Steve made a great run on the right wing, Churchy looked to have slightly over hit the pass but Steve reached it and pulled the ball back leaving Matt with the simplest of tap ins (although we have seen him miss them in the past!) to make it 2-1.

Then Shaun found his scoring boots. Having had a few half chances and a couple of chances he will think he should have done better with, Shaun suddenly ripped Tom's team apart with a quick-fire hat-trick. Three quality finishes after great work from Churchy, Brett and Steve J - Brett's team led 4-2 and Tom's team's 2-0 advantage was a distant memory. More goals looked on the cards, with Steve J hitting the post and Churchy heading over from a great corner taken by Steve. Matt also had a chance, but could not keep his shot down and the ball ballooned over the bar. To add insult to injury Brett was better placed and screaming for a pass. Matt then he tried one of his overhead kicks and the ball went miles wide and he just looked daft, like a blubbery walrus in a tumble dryer.

Tom's team were still attacking well though and Steve Gagg got a third, slotting the ball beautifully past Churchy to put them back in the game. Jonni set Jason up a few times with some great crosses from the right wing but he couldn't force the ball home. Matt then started messing around with the ball in defence and Steve Gagg nicked it off him and ran through. However, Steve scuffed his shot, seemingly kicking the floor rather than the ball and the ball went harmlessly wide. A great chance wasted and Steve looked disgusted, like a man who's just got home from the tattooist, looked in the mirror and discovered he's had Ann Widdecombe drawn on his buttock instead of the Tottenham cockerel that he asked for. Churchy also made a great save from Jonni, tipping the ball wide from a fierce shot.

Poor old Dave then blocked a through ball with, erm, his most delicate area. As he slowly sank to his knees, grimacing in pain, small beads of sweat appeared on his brow, the light in his eyes started to fade and a strange garbled noise escaped from his mouth. An exact replica of Phil McBride after half a cider.

Matt replaced Churchy in goal and immediately was forced into a save, tipping Dave's low shot onto the post at full stretch (so close!). Tom then turned brilliantly on the right to get a bit of space but his shot was a nice height for Matt who turned it away. Shortly afterwards Andy was played in but Matt ran out and the shot hit him and went out for a corner. Steve Gagg beat Matt with a fantastic shot, but it clipped Rich and hit the bar and went over. It was an important period of the game because, not long afterwards Steve J added a 5th for Brett's team and they had the game sown up. There was just enough time for Churchy to dazzle us all with a outstanding turn past Jonni which left the defender rooted to the spot blinking in confusion and then "time" was called and that was that. So, 8 goals this week and the spectre of last week's 0-0 well and truly vanquished. Good game lads.

Goal Of The Week: Shaun's hat trick was great, but Jonni's finish past Matt was absolutely sublime and gave the keeper no chance. Great goal Jonni.

Player Of The Week: A few contenders this week. Shaun scored a hat-trick and ran for every ball, causing Tom's defence problems all game. Steve J and Simon J showed their normal brilliant skill and work-rate. Brett, Rich, Tom and Sam were all outstanding in defence and Steve G and Jonni both had excellent games. This week though was a real return to form for Rich Church. He has been playing a lot better for the last few games and this time round he was the difference between the two teams. A fantastic tackler with a great football brain, Rich had spells in midfield and out wide. He was involved in most of his team's goals and was unlucky with his two headers. Looking like a young Bob Carolgees in a football kit Rich bossed the game and once again laid claim to be the Church Household's best player award. We'll see how Kev responds next week. Great game Rich!