Match Report: Wednesday 30th June

Kev’s Team: Kev, Simon B, Matt Y, Andy, Jonny W, Jonny (didn’t get his surname but Steve G’s mate), Steve G, Phil - 11
Rich’s team: Rich, Jason, Shaun, Ed, Will, Steve J, Gav, Sam, Phil - 10

The week started with Matt Young sending an email to ask if someone else could do the match report. Tuvvy stepped up to the mark as he couldn’t play having pulled a muscle in his back while trying to stop a boy hitting another boy on the head with a mallet, but we all know it was just because he won the bet and Matt owed him alcohol. And what a game it was too... Tuvvy made 4 pages of notes about it in the exercise book he stole from the Fulford school English department. The idea of 4 pages was enough to bring a tear to Rich Church’s eye. Anyway on with the game...

The match started at lightening pace and it wasn’t long before Will had fired in passed a beaten Matt Young with a typical Will Gardener finish. Within about a minute of the restart Andy got the ball on the left wing put in a peach of a cross and Steve Gag fired in to make it 1-1. Then quicker than you could say "she sells sea shells by the sea shore" Rich’s team were on the attack again. Steve J and Will linked up well and Will blasted from long range, Shaun reacted well, noticing it was going wide, and with a poachers instinct stuck out a foot and beat Matt Young again for 2-1. Then with his team pushing for a third Rich got very excited and shot from range only to see the ball fly out of the fence and bounce off the roof of the school. While he was out Matt asked a day dreaming Tuvvy if it was time for keepers... Yes it was and had been about 4 minutes before hand.

With Kev’s team behind Phil tried to urge the team forward by barking demands so loud it could drown out the Vuvuzelas at the World Cup, and they responded well. Jonny W and Simon linked well and forced an amazing stop from Will in goal. Andy Townend stepped up to take the corner and somehow the ball sneaked in between post and keeper straight from the corner, take a bow Andy. Tuvvy then called keepers, this time without the reminder. With the team back in it Phil and Simon worked a lovely attack and soon made it 3-2 with a goal from Simon passed the powerless Sam. Phil and Simon kept causing problems when Phil got around Sam again and squared to Simon but Jason was on hand to clear at the last minute. Then Kev’s team really turned on the pressure. Steve J passed the ball out to Rich who was closed down by Andy at Usain Bolt pace and Andy finished for 4-2.

Then Simon took a corner straight to Kev, who blasted in goal wards - the ball hit the underside of the bar and bounced down. No one sure if it went in or not so Tuvvy said no goal, which reopened the debate of Goal line technology. Seconds later Gav took a shot at the other end which again was debated whether it crossed the line, so again Tuvvy said no goal. Matt will be writing to Oaklands asking for Goal line technology to be installed before next week. Then Steve J made a good run down the pitch before he slotted the ball across the goal mouth for Gav who could just tap the ball into an almost empty net. No question about that one, it definitely crossed the line. 4-3
Jonny W fearful that Rich’s team were getting back in to the game went on a trade mark run the whole length of the pitch and then fired the ball into the top left hand corner of the goal, 5-3. Then came a moment for the history books, a cross came in from the right wing and as cool as a Mr Softy Ice cream Matt Young scored his first Goal since 1990, the last time he scored Will was only a twinkle in his Daddy’s eye, 6-3. Moments later the man of the moment was back on his own Goal line, a more familiar position, making a Goal line clearance which Rio Ferdinand would have been proud of.

Rich’s team broke and scored with Jason taking the ball around Andy and scoring to make it 6-4 to Kev’s team. Then came a period that showed Kev could score as well as stop shots. First came from Simon selflessly crossing the ball to Kev who charged into the box and tapped in for 7-4, then the dangerous duo linked again. Simon put in one of the best crosses of the game and again Kev was on the end of it to make it now 8-4 and the game looked dead and buried.

Phil then changed teams and the tide turned. Phil’s first touch for Rich's team was to slot the ball into the goal and reduce the deficit, if only the Chancellor could make that sort of an impact. Then Rich’s team picked up some confidence and when Ed put in the cross to Shaun, he flicked on to Jas who finished with ease. Then Gav tried an over head kick that Vice captain Tom would have been proud of. Jason then made it 8-7 after a cross to the back post from Steve J, Ed headed back across goal and Jas tapped in for a hatrick. Matt tried to show that, unlike England, Kev’s team could play route one football and hit a great ball up to Simon, who saw Jonny and picked him out perfectly and Jonny finished for 9-7.

Ed had his usual anything Jonny can do I can do better attitude and it showed. Ed got the ball and with some very skilful footwork took out Kev’s team’s defence and made it 9-8. Will and Steve J were linking up as good as ever, which made all us English men weep that Gerrard and Lampard couldn’t play that well together. Their hard work soon led to a game changing 30 seconds. Shaun first received the ball from Will and made it 9-9 then about 20 seconds later the defence troubling two linked to find Shaun again and this time with a sweet outside of the foot finish he makes it 10-9, surely the winner. NO. Jason takes a shot from about 18yrds and it rebounds off the post, the ball falls to Shaun who forces save of the match from Jonny (Steve’s Mate). Then Simon leaves because he has to be up early for work in the morning. Rich’s team take the corner and Kev’s team break away and Sam forces a corner, which Jonny W takes, Sam punches out unconvincingly straight to Steve Gagg who powers the ball into the goal. By this point Tuvvy had lost track of the score and it was about 9:35 so next goal was called and interestingly it was 10-10 so next goal would actually win it.

The game went on with one counter attack after another until the ball came to Andy Townend. He took the ball on the half way line and ran at Rich’s team’s goal, round Sam and in with a run Lionel Messi would have been proud of 11-10.

Goal of the week
Townend scored a great goal direct from a corner, Matt Young scored his first goal in over a decade (apparently) and Ed scored a nice solo goal but this week Tuvvy will give GOAL OF THE WEEK to Jonny ‘the wolf man’ Wooldridge. He ran the length of the pitch with the ball like it was stuck to his shoe down the right wing, then lashed the ball into the top far corner. Very Ronaldo -esque. Well done Jonny.

Player of the week
Will was his usual brilliant self and Steve J did put in the best performance we have seen from anyone in an England shirt for about a month. Jonny and Ed had a good come back to the action. Shaun got a debut hatrick, Simon put in some lovely crosses but Tuvvy is going to give this week’s PLAYER OF THE WEEK AWARD to a player that was simply unique on the left wing. No defender could read what he was about to do, and sometimes I wasn’t sure if he could, but Andy Townend put in (in my eyes) one of his best performances of the year. So Andy Townend take a bow you are POTW

Match Report by Tuvvy